导语
2017年刚刚过去，我们似乎都还没缓过神来。 在中国人的文化里，似乎不过春节，不看春晚，就还没正式开始新的一年。这周我们想抓着17年的小尾巴和大家一起细数，那些在去年让我们啼笑皆非的新闻。
去年有这么一位警察叔叔，在冒充受害者家属，和犯罪嫌疑人周旋时，因为普通话不太好，受到对方质疑....
“我不和你说话，普通话这么好，你是警察吧？”
“I’m not talking to you! You are speaking pure Mandarin! You are a total fraudster!”
Recently an old man picked up his phone in Jiangyou, Sichuan Province, with the caller warning him that his son owes 30,000 RMB. The old man grew quite suspect and proceeded to call the police, who agreed this was probably a bunch of fraudsters trying to con old people out of their hard-earned moolah.
So the police had a plan. They went undercover detective stylee on that fraudster, pretending to be the old man’s nephew.
However... The policeman’s plan soon went to the dogs when the fraudster on the other side suddenly accused the policeman himself of being a fake. He accused the policeman of clearly not being a local relative of his old man victim since the ‘nephew’ was speaking such perfect Putonghua. If it really was his nephew, why wasn’t he speaking local Sichuan dialect, or at least Mandarin tinged with a hint of Sichuan flavour?
And just like that, the actual fraudster put down the phone call.
As it turns out, he was totally right. The policeman hails from Northeast China, home of Beijing and the most standard of standard Mandarin accents.
Sometimes the bad guys do get away.
听说非诚勿扰舞台，去年又出来搞笑了。
有一位重庆男子声称自己不能吃辣，火锅只点鸳鸯锅，遭来全场灭灯- -
China is home to one of the world’s most-viewed dating programmes, known as ‘If You Are The One’ (Fei Cheng Wu Rao).
The programme centers around one male contestant who is put up against a panel of 10 women, all of whom are hoping to find their dream suitor. The women can choose to accept or reject the man anytime during his presentation and question time. At its peak, the show reached over 50 million viewers.
Recently, a man from Chongqing entered the show and caused a bit of a stir. In his introduction speech, he announced that when eating hot pot, he never chooses a spicy broth, only plain broths.
Every single woman turned their lights off.
自从麦当劳在国外推出了经典四川辣酱.....它的火爆程度真的超过了我们所有人的想象.....不仅千金难求，人们甚至为了一包辣酱示威游行....
Just as everyone in China started going mad for mooncakes over Mid-autumn Festival, on the other side of the Pacific, those in America were drooling other another ‘Chinese’ foodstuff...
The infamous Szechuan Sauce.
Szechuan Sauce, characterized by the punchy and flavoursome Sichuan chilli (but adjusted with added sweetness for the American tastebud), became hugely popular after it became available in McDonald's to coincide with the release of the 1998 Disney classic ‘Mulan’. It was served as a side-sauce to chicken nuggets.
The sauce became affectionately to be known as “Mulan Sauce”, but sadly, limited quantities were produced. Not long after Mulan’s release, the sauce was totally depleted.
After almost 20 years, the sauce has become immortalized in many Americans’ hearts, memories and myths.
Earlier this year, Season Three of the popular cartoon ‘Rick and Morty’, hailed as the No. 1 show among millennials, featured a scene of nostalgic love for McDonland’s limited Szechuan Sauce. In response, McDonald’s sent the creator/voice actor for the show an industrial-size bottle. Fans of the show and fans of the sauce went wild, triggering a Change.org petition which drew in over 50k supporters to ‘bring back the sauce’.
Last week, McDonald's promised a “super limited” release at select locations. But the chain failed to anticipate the extremely high demand. Some locations had as few as 20 packets. Crowds got angry.
Now, containers of the sauce are for sale on eBay for hundreds of dollars for a single, wee packet.
Word of this hilarious Szechuan Sauce frenzy caught on in China this week, where many Chinese felt it absurd that foreigners would be so passionate about a Sauce named after their homeland’s Southwestern province.
One local guy noted, “As a Sichuanese, I literally have no clue as to what is Sichuan Spicy Sauce”.
17年有这么一个新闻，一位豪车车主被卖菜的老伯撞了车，在他善意拒绝了老伯的赔偿后，这位有原则的卖菜老伯从车窗外扔进一包带土的洋葱，然后匆匆离去
You might have heard the recent news that the Bitcoin is not so easy to use anymore within China.
Well, one man decided to take currency developments into his own hands.
The elderly man in question happens to be a spring onion vendor. Recently, he was riding his three-wheeled pick-up through the streets, when he accidentally hit a Bentley...
The Bentley driver immediately demanded the elderly spring onion seller provide compensation for his damaged luxury ride. But the man confessed he really didn’t have that kind of money -- all he could offer was a bunch of spring onions.
The Bentley driver ultimately refused the old man’s generous offer, imploring him instead to just pay more attention to road safety and try not to crash into anyone again. The old man insisted the driver took his bunch of spring onions, handing them to him through the car window.
So next time you’re driving around in China, you might want to pack a few sprigs of spring onion, just in case...
我想今年最火的外卖小哥，应该是那位送外卖撞碎了玻璃门的男人.......几乎是成为了各大新闻网的首页动图....“我是谁？我在哪？发生了什么？”
A (totally unrelated) delivery boy (also in Guangdong province) encountered an extremely awkward pick-up scenario.
In the video, it appears he must have been in a huge rush to pick-up the meal and deliver to the customer. He dashes toward the pizza restaurant, grabs the door handle, heads inside..... Only to realize the glass door has shattered into a billion pieces, and he’s still holding the handle.
The video has been re-posted millions of times on the internet. We’ve yet to work out whether it's the delivery guy’s fault, or a ‘Made in China’ issue...
-END-
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