【新译Z世代】No.38《蛤蟆先生去看心理医生》“一切都取决于你”

在很多人心目中，心理医生是一个颇有神秘感的职业。他们真的能一眼洞穿别人的心理吗？去看心理医生是一种什么样的体验？心理咨询为什么能让一个人发生改变？……如果你也想知道这些问题的答案，那么读完《蛤蟆先生去看心理医生》这本书，你就明白了。

In the minds of many people, psychologists are a rather mysterious profession. Can they really penetrate people's psychology at a glance? What is it like to go to a psychologist? Why can counseling make a difference to a person? ...... If you also want to know the answers to these questions, then read the book "Mr. Toad Goes to a Psychiatrist" and you will understand.

书名听起来像童书，其实是一本非常有深度的心理咨询入门书。作者罗伯特·戴博德是一位经验丰富的心理学研究者和临床实践者。他借用经典童话《柳林风声》里的动物主角，模拟了病人与咨询师之间互动的全过程，讲述了一名抑郁症患者是如何通过心理咨询得到疗愈和改变的。读者在阅读这本书的时候，仿佛也跟着蛤蟆先生一起看了一次心理医生。

The title sounds like a children's book, but it is actually a very insightful introduction to counseling. The author, Robert Debord, is an experienced psychology researcher and clinical practitioner. He borrows the animal protagonist from the classic fairy tale "The Wind in the Willows" and simulates the whole process of interaction between patient and counselor to tell how a depressed patient is healed and changed through counseling. When readers read this book, it is as if they have followed Mr. Toad to a psychiatrist.

书中的蛤蟆先生是谁？他陷入深深的沮丧、无助和悲伤，却无力挣脱出来；他缺乏自信，总是不由自主地讨好别人，当别人看不起他、批评他、欺负他的时候，他也不敢把愤怒表达出来，却又痛恨自己的软弱；有时候，他甚至找不到自己有什么优点，活着有什么价值。其实，我们每个人都可能是蛤蟆先生，会在生命中的某个时刻突然陷入爆发式的消极情绪中，自我评价降低，陷入难以控制的悲伤，不知道希望在哪里。一只小小的蛤蟆，给了很多人真真切切的代入感。

Who is Mr. Toad in the book? He falls into deep frustration, helplessness and sadness, but is powerless to break free; he lacks self-confidence, always involuntarily pleasing others, when others look down on him, criticize him, bully him, he also dares not express his anger, but hates his weakness; sometimes, he cannot even find what merits he has, what value he has in living. In fact, each of us may be Mr. Toad, will suddenly fall into an outburst of negative emotions at some point in life, self-evaluation lowered, into uncontrollable sadness, do not know where hope is. A small toad has given many people a real sense of vicariousness.

蛤蟆先生在朋友的督促下找咨询师苍鹭。苍鹭没有告诉蛤蟆该怎么过好人生，因为“能帮你的人是你自己，也只有你自己。”在第一次会见时，苍鹭就说出了心理咨询师这个职业共同的心声：“如果我不相信每个人都有能力变得更好，我就不会做这份工作了。假如我们能一同努力，就能预见积极的结果。但归根结底，这一切都取决于你。”

Mr. Toad was urged by a friend to find a counselor, Heron. Cang Lu did not tell Toad how to live a good life, because "the person who can help you is yourself and only yourself." At the first meeting, Cang Lu spoke the common heart of the counselor profession: "If I didn't believe that everyone has the ability to become better, I wouldn't be doing this job. If we can work together, we can anticipate positive results. But at the end of the day, it's all up to you."

当蛤蟆习惯性地说“我很好”的时候，苍鹭让他看到自己的悲伤与绝望。他追问蛤蟆“真实的感觉”，让蛤蟆学会看到自己的情绪：“如果以1~10分来评判你现在的感受，你会给自己打几分？”当蛤蟆把这个“情绪温度计”纳入自己的脑海，就意味着他不再压抑和无视情绪，而情绪正是了解内心世界的入口。

When the toad habitually says "I'm fine", the heron lets him see his own sadness and despair. He asks Toad about his "true feelings" so that Toad can learn to see his own emotions: "If you were to judge how you feel right now on a scale of 1 to 10, how many points would you give yourself?" When the toad incorporates this "emotional thermometer" into his mind, it means he no longer suppresses and ignores emotions, which are the entrance to understanding the inner world.

当蛤蟆说“我从来都不会生气”的时候，苍鹭让他明白，他不是不会生气，而是选择了另一种“非爆发式”的方式生气。他带领蛤蟆追溯童年的经历，看到自己童年不被关爱的创伤，看到自己仍然是以小时候讨好父母的方式讨好着身边的人，而这样做，并不会给他带来健康的人际关系。

When Toad says "I never get angry", Heron makes him understand that he is not angry, but has chosen another "non-explosive" way to get angry. He leads Toad to retrace his childhood experiences, to see the trauma of his unloved childhood, to see that he is still pleasing people around him in the same way he pleaded with his parents as a child, and that doing so will not bring him healthy interpersonal relationships.

当蛤蟆责怪身边的人如何错待他、让他不快乐的时候，苍鹭为他打破了最大的谎言：没有人能让你不快乐，是你自己选择了让自己不快乐。蛤蟆终于发现，原来那个一直在批评他、贬低他的人，是他自己。

When the toad blamed the people around him for how they were treating him wrongly and making him unhappy, the heron broke the biggest lie for him: no one can make you unhappy, it is you who have chosen to make yourself unhappy. The toad finally realized that the person who had been criticizing him and belittling him was himself.

戳破真相是痛苦的。在咨询过程中，蛤蟆几次差点崩溃：“讨论了这么久，结果就是我发现自己大半辈子都很愚蠢？”但他看到了自己的成长和改变，哪怕再痛苦，他也愿意继续走下去。荣格早就说过：“没有一种觉醒是不带着痛苦的。”在蛤蟆先生的故事里，你会更深刻地明白这句话的含义。这十次心理咨询的过程，是蛤蟆迅速成长的过程。他通过回顾童年而真正走出了童年。苍鹭让蛤蟆意识到：在自己心里，不但存在着一个无助的、渴求爱的“儿童自我状态”，还存在着一个严厉批评自己、让自己始终得不到肯定的“父母自我状态”。只有打破童年情绪的围困，用理性的方式来面对当下，活出“成人自我状态”，真诚地回应当下的需求，才算是真正长大成人。

Poking at the truth is painful. Several times during the counseling process, Toad almost broke down: "After all this discussion, the result is that I find myself stupid for most of my life?" But he saw his own growth and change, and even if it was more painful, he was willing to keep going. Jung said long ago, "There is no awakening that is not accompanied by pain." In Mr. Toad's story, you will understand the meaning of this statement more deeply. The process of these ten counseling sessions was a process of rapid growth for Toad. He really came out of his childhood by looking back on it. The heron made the toad realize that in his own heart, there exists not only a helpless and love-hungry "child self-state", but also a "parent self-state" that criticizes himself harshly and keeps himself from being affirmed. Only by breaking the siege of childhood emotions, facing the present in a rational way, living the "adult ego state" and responding sincerely to the needs of the present, can we truly grow up to be adults.

其实，《蛤蟆先生去看心理医生》最大的价值，不仅仅在于普及了一些心理知识，更在于具体生动地呈现了心理咨询的全过程，给读者提供了一种沉浸式的体验。读这本书的时候，不妨放下对“道理”的执念，跟着蛤蟆先生一起去做自我回顾和自我设问。也许阅读的过程会伴随着戳心的痛苦，但读完之后你会发现——属于你的疗愈和改变，也已经开始了。

In fact, the greatest value of "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychiatrist" is not only to popularize some psychological knowledge, but also to present the whole process of psychological counseling in a concrete and vivid way, providing readers with an immersive experience. When reading this book, you may want to let go of the obsession with "reason" and follow Mr. Toad to do self-review and self-questioning. Perhaps the process of reading will be accompanied by heart-piercing pain, but after reading you will find that - your healing and change has begun.

psychiatrist：精神病学家，心理医生

healing ：康复，疗愈

vicariousness：转移性