It's time to make a difference

This evening the talk between I and Xuan's teacher gave me a further clear mind, both the kids and the parents need to make efforts on the way to success, as for our family, I didn't have a right attitude, I haven't urged him for a single time, while expecting a rather good result, which is absolutely wishful thinking, I made the same mistake on my work, because there's hardly initiative on them, just as how I criticized two girls this afternoon, after my several times' patient talkings, I didn't see any clear improvement, I have told myself to pay more attention to their mental power, don't let the criticism or punishment stop their initiative, however, I received not the strength to go ahead but more and more cheat.
So what should I do? As for me, perhaps the traditional methods are the derections, after all they are just kids who aren't nitiative to do what they should, they need our help instead of doing nothing at all. However, I didn't have the enough mental preparation till now, so I think the first step is to deepen the cognition through reminding myself again and again, then take actions.