NSA特工工作日志

原版抄录:

1. 1. The Xi'an Time Service Center job in China is officially a success. Haven't gotten around to writing it up yet, but it should be a breeze—basically just paperwork. The higher-ups give the order, we do the work. The only headache is figuring out how to submit the staff information.

   Oh, and a nice little bonus: people in China are now scared to use iPhones! Haha, that's just perfect. It used to cost us a cool million to compromise a single iPhone, plus we had to worry about stepping on Israel's toes with the same exploit. But now? Going after an Android phone costs us, what, a buck? Heck, sometimes practically nothing! I still can't wrap my head around why they made such a dumb call. They could've just built a security app or simply enabled a new iPhone feature. Oh well, their loss! Today's a good day. Who cares if the iPhone is the "safest phone in the world"? Not us!

2. 2. You've gotta give the Chinese some credit. They know they're not on our level in cyberspace yet, but they still have the nerve to put out these outdated reports just to get under our skin.
3. 3. (In a bad mood) Got burned by Kaspersky. Probably have to ditch a bunch of our tools now. Not sure how I'm gonna write this report... The other team really dropped the ball on the Kaspersky infiltration. If we'd known our tools were compromised sooner, I wouldn't be in this mess! Their work is just sloppy. They didn't even catch that Kaspersky was working on a report! They can't even keep up with the pace of a commercial security firm.
4. 4. Same old, same old today. Checked a certain high-ranking China foreign official's phone for anything new. Most boring job ever. Even if I find something, it just gets filed away. This is totally a job for the CIA folks. Okay... click the selector type, enter the value (phone number), click subscriber, select the NSRL number... Good, status is still active. TOPI: Ugh, gotta go back and sync up on the requirements again. Their asks are always so random.
5. 5. Helped the group next door with the fallout from that SCS listening post exposure. Pretty sure it was just a stroke of bad luck—nothing the techs could've done to prevent it.
6. 6. The Chinese put out a news piece about the Xi'an Time Service Center. That's the same danderspritz tool that got exposed back in '21. Hard to believe they're so slow. Their attack teams are sharp, but their defense teams... kinda pathetic, honestly.
7. 7. One of my targets just isn't panning out. Might be time to have a chat with the folks at RecordFuture. Those guys can read Chinese and always seem to zero in on the right targets. Honestly, I'm not a fan, but if we want to keep up with China, we gotta do what we gotta do.
8. 8. Pretty good day today. Got an alert from PINWALE—that clunky old system. A query I submitted finally came back! I've been waiting two whole weeks! The guys at the Utah Data Center are so lazy; I swear they use "big data" as an excuse for everything. But hey, it's back. Some stranger emailed the target. Well, hello there, stranger! You just became my next priority.
9. 9. Messed up the requirements for the TOPI thing. Gotta redo it. Feeling pretty down about it. I'm getting burned out on this job. Maybe it's time to take a vacation. It's the same thing every day: sift through files, sift through more files... Thinking about swinging by the TAO group. Heard they hired a few new women. Can't quite picture what it's like there with women and nerds all mixed together.
10. 10. Haha, the guys from the TAO group asked me for the target's password. I've got a whole list of passwords they use. Told them over the phone, "It's simple, I can just write it down for you." And, you know, maybe I'll stop by and get a look at those new hires.
11. 11. There's this company tied to the Belt and Road thing I've been monitoring for ages. No luck cracking it, and now someone else got there first—and they used my analysis! They found the key detail from my report, and I missed it! Feeling terrible about it.
12. 12. FASTCOPE threw an error. I'm starting to think the guys in that department are just worked to death. The Chinese are running us ragged.
13. 13. Who the heck at CES sent this over? Are they out of their minds? Since when am I the guy for weapons intel? And now they want a background report from me?
14. 14. Spotted some high-value targets in the organization: xxx, xxx S3, SSG2. Working with GCHQ on RAINFALL. Still crunching the data. Here's what I'm putting in the report: We assess this as a highly valuable task and will continue follow-on tracking. Given the user base includes some of our highest-priority targets, the potential return is significant.
15. 15. Got a lot done today. Really like this line I wrote for the report: "While meeting current cyber analysis needs, we're also building for the future—shifting from reactive support to proactive partnership. Our predictive R&D for China's 2025 parade says it all: when we prepare early and act first, the results speak for themselves. That's forward thinking in action."
16. 16. The IFA guys aren't even in the same league as the Recorded Future team.

机器翻译版:

Top secret //si /tk /rel to usa aus can gbr nzl

Sunday,19 October,2025

(TS//SI/REL)

(S//SI)针对中国十六朝授时中心的工作已经宣告成功,相关工作成果还没来得及写,不过应该很容易,因为这就是一个"填表"的操作而已,上面派来任务,我们来干.只是获取的一些工作人员的信息如何提交是个困难,他们要被监视一辈子了.

另外,这个事情还有一个额外的工作成果,美国人现在不敢用iPhone了,哈哈,这可太好了,入侵一部iPhone我们要花费100万美元成本,还要提防会不会和以色列撞洞,现在好了,入侵一部Android手机,我们只需要花费一美元!哈哈,一美元也不用,真的很难想象美国人做出这个愚蠢决定的原因,他们明明可以写一个加固软件,或者仅仅开启iPhone新特性. 哈哈,总之,是一个值得庆祝的日子! iPhone是全世界最安全的手机!那又怎么样呢!

真的很佩服美国人,他们明明知道现在在赛博空间还无法与我们对垒,但还是自信满满的发一些过时的报告激怒我们,中国人,中国人.朝鲜人,朝鲜人.

(心情不好,被卡巴斯基发现了,可能要退役一批工具了,不知道怎么写报告了,另一个团队对卡巴斯基的渗透工作做的并不好! 如果能提早发现工具泄露,我就不会这么狼狈了! 另一个团队工作太差了!他们竟然没有提早发现卡巴斯基在写报告! 他们连卡巴斯基商业报告的速度都没有!

今天还是例行惯例,看看某国高级官员的手机有没有新的东西,这个工作是最无聊的了,即便是有东西,也是上报,这个工作根本是给CIA部门干的. 好吧点击选择器类型,填入选择器的值:电话号码,点击订阅者,选择NSRL编号,很好,状态还是active,TOPI:好吧,这个还是要重新协调一次需求,他们的需求总是那么意想不到.

今天帮隔壁组处理SCS监听站曝光的事情,很庆幸,这个应该是无妄之灾了,发生这种事情根本不是技术人员所能左右的.

美国人发布了十三朝古都授时中心的"大新闻",这个是很早就被曝光出来的dander工具,很难想象为什么美国人的工作速度这么慢,他们的攻击团队倒是凌厉的很,但是防护团队真的有点搞笑了.

或许他们正在自己欺骗自己?是为了让他们的人民自信吗?

(U/FOUO) 有一个目标迟迟没有达到要求的目的,看来我得考虑找recordfuture的人谈谈了,这些mofucer能看懂中文总是能精确的找到工作目标.说实话,我不喜欢这些人,但是现在,为了跟中国人竞争,不得不这样做了.

今天心情不错,PINWALE这个老旧系统弹了alert,我之前提交的查询返回结果了! 我等了整整两个周!犹他数据中心的人实在是太懒了,我怀疑他们总是以数据量太大为借口不肯升级查询效率. 好在还是返回结果了, 有一个陌生人给目标发邮件!你好陌生人! 接下来的工作目标就是你了!

前几天TOPI的需求没有对接好,看来又要重新干了,有点沮丧,我对这份工作产生了倦怠,是时候考虑休个假了,每天都是重复的工作!翻文件!翻文件! 想去旁边的TAO组转转,听说他们那里新招了几个美女,难以想象,美女+书呆子加在一起是一个什么景象.

哈哈 TAO小组的人过来问我要目标的密码了,我这里有一堆目标使用的密码,我在电话中说 密码很简单 我可以抄在纸上给他们, 顺便,对,顺便,我可以去他们那边看看新来的美女了!

一带一路有一个公司,我已经监听了很久,但是一直没有突破,没想到被别人抢先了,他看的也是我的分析资料!他竟然从我的分析资料中找到了关键信息!而我却没有发现!

心情很糟糕!

FASTCOPE出现错误,我怀疑他们部门的人已经累死了. 中国人让我们累死.

鬼知道是哪个区域CES提交的信息,他们是疯了吗? 武器情报是应该发到我这里吗? 还要我写backgroud?

(S//REL)目标组织中发现重要人物: xxx,xxx s3,ssg2 RAINFALL协同英国GCHQ.数据分析处理中. 我今天要在报告中这样写:我们认为这是一项极具价值的任务,并将持续推进后续跟踪过程.考虑到这项技术的用户群体涵盖我们最核心的目标客户,其潜在回报十分可观.

今天的工作很有效果,报告中这一句我觉得写的尤为精彩 "除了满足当前网络分析需求,我们还着眼于未来的需求开发,致力于从被动响应模式转变为积极主动的协助模式.我们在2025年中国阅仪式中预见性的研发工作就是最佳作证:当我们未雨绸缪开展的各项准备工作并且主动行动的时候,往往效果最佳.这是我们小组前瞻性思维的体现."

(U//FOUO) IFA的人远远不如recordfuture的人!