Alright Ladies and Gentlemen, the SHC kicks off tonight with the A league spectacle and to start it in fashion we've got a Syer and Rupert Show.
But before that, we spent our last article telling you all why your team's are terrible. Despite how bad all the teams are, we've been informed that someone eventually does have to win. We've invited the league's two smartest people to give us their predictions for how this season will go. Both of them are goalies which tells you everything you need to know about the level of intelligence this league has.
Without further ado, let's get to our A league predictions with our guest analyst Brett Syer for his guest spot:
SYER’S 2025-2026 SHC SEASON SPECULATIONS
FOG DEVILS
Captain
•Jeff “Hritzy” Hritzuk
Assistant(s)
•McBeast
•Sparrow
Jerseys
•Clean, classy, and finally the proper shade of red
Breakout Player
•Sky Hou is back and better than ever, with an extra 13kg of muscle thanks to the “quad-fathers,” and a wicked release since we last saw him in the SHC; look for Sky to to push the pace alongside Captain H-ritzy with an H, McBeast and Hooker
•Honourable Mention here to perennial shinny stalwart Arman, whose finally making it “official” and playing this season. One of this year's pressing questions is whether he knows what the actual positions are in hockey and if he's capable of actually playing in a position or not.
Regular Season
•The Fog Devils will sell their souls to finish 1st in the regular season, with the top line of Sky-Hritzy-MC Beast creating hell for opposing teams while Phillips and Sparrow form the likely top (?) pairing. Expect Hooker to move up and down the lineup to fill gaps and create challenging matchups. While the Fog will settle into leading the league, it won’t be an easy go.
Play-Offs
•Semis - vs. ICE - The Foggy D’s will take it 4-2 as their top two lines will simply outpace and outshoot the ICE. Sky and Hritzy net two apiece in the winning effort.
•Finals - vs. Shamrocks - The Fog Devils deal with the Devil will pace them to a 5-4 win in the Finals over the Shamrocks. In a series of unfortunate events, Hritzy’s gloves will literally blow up on the game winning goal, leading to his potential retirement (as they are well known to be his source of youthful scoring touch).
ICE
Captain
•Alex Gale “Force Wind”
Assistant(s)
•Bessy
•Immer
Jerseys
•A new logo and a bold colour choice, Gale is looking to mix it up to break the Finals curse that has plagued the ICE since their inception, plus real men wear pink (or is it purple?)
Breakout Player
•Chris “Immer” Im makes his triumphant return to the SHC after a few years in Macau working on his golf and gambling game; look for this smooth skating d-man to move the puck and give the ICE the breakouts they deserve
•Honourable Mention here to Marc-Alain Savard, aka slightly more French JP, who is giving Sparrow a run for his money on who can drink the most Tuesday night shinny beers
Regular Season
•The ICE will be cool all season; expect them to finish 4th in regular season standings as Gale learns how to play without “He Whose Newman Will Not Be Spoken” and with Slaney bailing on all late games. With some great potential top line and top d-pairing combinations, the Cubes will compete in every game and contribute to what is sure to be one of the best regular seasons in recent memory.
Play-Offs
•Semis - vs. Foggy Devils - The Foggy D’s will take it 4-2 as their top two lines will simply outpace and outshoot the ICE. Spenny will finally regain some hockey confidence, and put one in the net… just kidding. Bessy and Gale will net one each in a losing effort.
•Finals - N/A
SHAMROCKS
Captain
•Michael “Washy Washy” Walsh
Assistant(s)
•Ivan T (huh?)
•Newly (duh)
Jerseys
•The best Shammies jerseys yet; these navy and gold beauties will look sharp while channeling the luck of the Irish
Breakout Player
•Jason Pang will help the new-look, relatively young and forward-heavy Shambones push the pace while keeping up with the likes of the Foggy D’s
•Honourable Mention here to Zion, who is poised to have an even bigger season then last
Regular Season
•The new look Shamrocks have flipped the script going from the oldest lineup in the league to the youngest, but you wouldn’t consider it a rebuild with Zion-Ivan T-Jason Pang forming the likely top line. Walshy will return to blue line patrol, with a few potential partners forming the top pairing. A forecheck focussed second line led by Abs McNewly (Newly’s official Irish name) will keep opponents pinned in their own end, while allowing for quick breakouts and shots from everywhere. The Shamcocks will finish 3rd in the regular season, in what is sure to be a tightly packed race.
Play-Offs
•Semi - vs. Wheelers - The Shamrocks take the semi-finals matchup 4-3 in OT after a few fortunate bounces and some tip tap toe drags from their captain. Ivan T grinds out the greasy winner, and the Shampoos are back to the Finals.
•Finals - vs. Fog Devils - The luck of the Irish will run out for the Shamrocks in the finals, but it will be a firefight as they lose 5-4 in back and forth thriller. Gussy will “accidentally” leave his AirPods in tor the game, leading to at least two missed d-zone coverage assignments, and to Walshy permanently implanting them in his ear canal.
WHEELERS
Captain
•Patrick “Yardo” Yardley
Assistant(s)
•Newman
•Hansy
Jerseys
•This season’s Wheelers jerseys look like their 2024-2025 season, in jersey format; ugly, disjointed, and full of poor choices/decision making
Breakout Player
•Islam “Izzy” Ibrogimov will steal the show for the Wheelers, and has been building chemistry with Newman and Padula at weekly shinny… a likely competitor for the scoring title this season…
•Honourable Mentions to Newman and Padula, who are poised to benefit from their new (likely) line mate’s hockey IQ
Regular Season
•Expect the Wheelers to roll into a 2nd place finish in the regular season, with the top line of Padula-Izzy-Newman up front while Yardo and HVM (or JP) shore up the blue line. Expect the Wheels to start the season strong, and keep the momentum going thanks to a strong locker room beefed up by the “Wheelers Whiskey Club.”
Play-Offs
•Semis - vs. Shamrocks - The Wheelers lose a heartbreaker in OT, with Newman’s curse transferring from Ice to Spokes. After the loss, Yardo hits Search Associates in his campaign to “Bring Back Riley Mac,” and will begin designing the second ugliest Wheelers jersey in SHC history.
•Finals - N/A
Coyotes
Captain: Wiley
Assistant(s): Mac, Dyer
Jerseys:
Wiley decided that with the rugged style his team intends to play this year, he wants both teams to be Black and Blue. Navy blue through the middle, Black on the arms with tinges of Yellow around his mighty Coyote logo and this jersey looks pretty sweet.
Breakout Player: Max Cao
Max had a strong season last year with the Capitalists and we think there’s another gear to be found. Could be a strong net front guy now that he’s lost his favourite net front Tractor and has the hands to continue finding the back of the net.
Regular Season Projection: 4th
This is the prediction we made that we’re the least comfortable with as we think the Coyotes are the most difficult team to predict where they end up but here we are: Wiley will realize his misjudgement of his first overall pick after realizing that Mac only scores on Rupert, Barry and Syer, none of whom play B league games. The Coyotes will keep themselves in a lot of low scoring games but ultimately struggle to score a ton of goals en route to a narrow 4th place finish. That being said, Mac did tie Arseniy in scoring in the playoffs last year so maybe he’s got more to give and we’re just underestimating Mac.
Play-Offs:
The Coyotes head into the playoffs with a matchup against the first place Rongyao and learn that this ain’t the 90s with clutch and grab hockey and that being old and slow is not a great recipe for success, even in a beer league. The speed of the Rongyao overwhelms the Coyotes en route to a 5-1 loss and an early exit from the playoffs.
Capitalists
Captain: Whately
Assistant(s): Tractor, Flow
Jerseys:
The Capitalists embraced the traditions of China by realizing that when it comes to money, being in the red is good. Other than that….basically the New Jersey Devils white jersey.
Breakout Player: Luzhu Jiang
Luzhu doesn’t always make it look pretty but he can get that shot off quickly and effectively. He’s improved steadily over the past few years and this feels like the year where he takes his next step to B league stardom.
Regular Season Projection: 3rd place
With a healthy Marco Kneenema we could see them finishing higher than this but a shorthanded team and no Marco dooms them to 3rdplace. We are once again projecting the Capitalists to be the team playing the most games with a short bench due to missing players and probably losing more games than they should due to that fact.
Play-Offs
* This is entirely prefaced on a healthy Marco return. If Marco doesn’t return or isn’t healthy, the Caps lose to the Eagles. The Eagles lose to the Rongyao and we still end up with the same champion.
The Capitalists are the opposite of a pro sports team as Whately only pays for playoffs. After a second half to get up to speed, The Flow and Tractor show takes off again looking to make up for last year’s poor showing in the semi-finals and upsets the Eagles 5-3 to set up our mentor/mentee final between the Capitalists and the Rongyao.
Finals: The Capitalists come in with a much more focused game this year around, deciding that maybe stopping the whole other team would be a better thing to try to do, rather than trying and failing to stop just one guy, who ends up with 4 points in the first ten minutes of the game. They find much more success with a deeper bench and keep things tight but ultimately lose out for the second year in a row to the Trevor Lai led Bears, I mean the Trevor Lai led Rongyao, I mean the Mikey Raykhfeld led Rongyao with a 5-4 loss.
Eagles
Captain: Carson
Assistant(s): Yuzo, Jerry Pang
Jerseys:
The Eagles are back with their bold yellow jerseys and the Mighty Eagle rocking the front of the uniform. Fans of the Eagles from years past will instantly recognize this one.
Breakout Player: Nina
You may say it’s a cop-out to predict their first round pick but I think Nina’s season is lining up to be something special. The guy is flying in preseason action and his shot can really play in the B league. Much like everyone else, a lot of his scoring is going to come down whether he can get the puck off the ice and over Karl
Regular Season Projection: 2nd
The Eagles may end up lower than this due to missed games of some of their top picks but this is a deep team with good speed and the ability to compensate for some missing guys. This team can skate, it can score and Carson will drink enough to compensate for the entire rest of the B league who doesn’t en route to a second place finish in the season.
Play-Offs
The Eagles will match-up with the Capitalists but this Capitalist team will have a healthy Flow going and unlike in other circumstances, the Eagles will be the ones who end up experiencing the cramps en route to a 5-3 loss to the lower seeded Capitalists.
Rongyao
Captain: Mikey
Assistant(s): Boomi, Shohei
Jerseys:
Just like Captain Mikey being the baby of the league, the baby blue jerseys are a new one since I’ve been around. The Stone Lion sits boldly in the center of the logo daring anyone to test it.
Oops sorry, wrong logo
Breakout Player: Kai Velasco
Kai Velasco is a man on a mission: To prove he’s a better hockey player than his Dad. One of last year’s most improved players could wind up being an absolute steal in the 6th round (and the Sinbin’s early season projection for best value pick of the B League)
Regular Season Projection:
The Rongyao skates their way to glory in the regular season with a first place finish to matchup against the Coyotes in the first round of the playoffs. There’s a lot of speed and a lot of players who know where they need to be to put the puck in the net and to stop other from doing it. Shohei and Kirill will be a tight race all year long for top defenceman while Trevor works his way to another second place finish in the scoring race.
Play-Offs:
·Semis: The SHC Executive investigates the IR placement of Captain Mikey right at the beginning of the playoffs after he comes down with a hangnail in his right pinky toe that he claims he can’t possibly play through. It looks even worse after a defensive misplay by Andrew leads to the first goal against and Mikey kicks him with the right foot on the bench. He is ultimately fined for his actions by having to provide the entire next season’s beer budget out of his own pocket. The Rongyao use their overwhelming speed and skill, especially from the backend with Kirill scoring two goals as the Rongyao cruise over the Coyotes to a 5-1 victory and matchup with destiny in the finals vs the Capitalists.
·Finals: The Young Padawan bests the mentor, at least as far as team composition (certainly not as individual players) as the Rongyao continue their high flying ways and Trevor once again gets the best of the Capitalists/Whately/The Flow and Tractor show with the Rongyao hoisting the Shangley after a 5-4 win.
So a recap:
Regular Season
1st - Rongyao
2nd - Eagles
3rd - Capitalists
4th - Coyotes
Shangley - Rongyao over Capitalists
Bambahios
Breakout Player: Tyler Sewards
After an injury plagued first year in the league, the kid is healthy and ready to go. Judging from his play in pickup, he is looking sharp and ready to go. He’s had a strong string of pick-up outings to begin the year and ready to challenge for some prime spots amongst the SHC goaltending elite
Resident Workhorses: Syer, Joe for Executive
Jiumama came into the league last year and took every game he possibly could. He will continue to pad his resume this year in search of that elusive spot on the SHC Executive by playing even more games this year. His goal for the year includes either: playing all 6 ice times in a given week or playing 3 games as the only goalie defending both nets at the same time.
Speaking of Execs, Syer returned mid-way through last year and claimed that SHC A League goaltender of the year award right as Barry Roe left for Siberia? Suburbia? The Arctic? Oh wait, no, Siberia and the Arctic still have ice, unlike that barren wasteland he allegedly moved to. Despite repeated attempts, we haven’t seen Barry and Syer play in a game together and although I’ve heard rumours in the past about it, I’m still not entirely convinced they’re not the same person. Which one is Bruce Wayne and which one is Batman?
Wildcard of the Year – Obviously Rupert
We are excited to see how he one-ups last year. Does a goose turn into a Caribou? Is the Caribou still alive when Rupert brings it into the locker room to carve it up? Does Rupert one-up his kettle hot-chocolate by bringing a whole ass bathtub to the rink and then making home-made whiskey in it? Does Rupert make a padstack save this year (I mean obviously yes). Honestly, I’m trying to come up with ideas too insane for even Rupert to pull off and I’m really not sure how insane I need to get for that.
Seriously, how do you top this?
Unsung Heroes – Jackie, Karl
Pretty much every weekend they will be there. Karl playing his one B league game every weekend where he challenges B league players to raise the puck off the ice and mostly watches them fail like we’re back in mites and half the games didn’t have goalies wearing equipment and they changed out every shift and I score that one breakaway goal when the goalie was turned around waving at his mom…but enough about my career highlights.
Jackoff is also Mr. reliable. One stroke, two strokes, maybe one night, maybe both whatever it takes. I mean, one night, two nights, one game each night, something about 6 seconds into a session, ummmm where were we? Oh yeah, Jackie. Playing singles, doubles, one night, both nights, he’s helped keep the league going with his reliability and we salute you sir with the 3 legged salute!
A few other random predictions/thoughts for the league this year:
- I look forward to the messages if the first teenager getting absolutely roasted for the horrific excuse for missing game. Last year we had wind and centipede bites. I look forward to this year's terrible excuses. My water was too cold? I played video games too late last night?
- Trevor Lai finishes in the top 5 in scoring for the 5th time but still doesn't win the scoring title
- Islam wins the Goal Scoring title in the A league but Newman takes the points title with all those sweet, sweet apples.
- Mac still refs more A league games than any single person actually in the A league and could end up winning the best referee award in both leagues this year (suck it Kovalenko)
- Sparrow leads the league in penalty minutes entirely on puck over the glass penalties.
- Syer doesn't make it through a second year without punching someone for running him and I've either got Padula or Hooker being the guys who cause it.
- We all miss Paul Karam
See everyone at the rink tonight for the opening A league Games:
2215 - Wheelers and Shammies
2330 - Fog Devils and Ice
Saturday:
2145 Capitalists and Rongyao
2300 Coyotes and Eagles
All at the Sanlin Sports Center.