If you go to bed at night and wish that you would not wake up in the morning, or if when you're driving and you're in traffic, you pray that some kind of fatal accident would happen to you, if you just generally don't really care if you continue to exist and live, you're probably experiencing something we call passive suicidal ideation. As you can guess by the name, passive suicidal ideation is a form of suicidal thinking in which you are not going to do anything intentionally to end your own life, but you kind of wish something would happen to you.
如果你晚上躺在床上，想着希望早上醒不过来，或者当你开车在交通中时，祈祷自己会遭遇某种致命的事故，如果你总的来说对是否继续活着不太在乎，那么你很可能正在经历我们所说的被动自杀意念。正如你从名字中可以猜到的那样，被动自杀意念是一种自杀性思维，在这种情况下，你并不会主动做任何事来结束自己的生命，但你会希望某种事情发生，让你解脱。
You're ready for something to put you out of your misery. You're suffering, and you just want to be done. You're not excited about life; you just want life to be over with.There are few things that I want you to know about passive suicidal ideation because it's a very common very important and unfortunately very misunderstood symptom and you might be surprised that I call it a symptom.I'll get back to that in a little bit, but I did a video about passive suicidal ideation a few months ago and especially on TicTok, it was by far the most popular piece of content I've ever created, it had over 10 million views, I think like 40,000 comments, I mean I completely lost track of it. and that made me realize that I must have1 touched a nerve with that video, I must have touched on something, that a lot of people are experiencing but don't know what they are experiencing nd probably have a lot of questions about it.
你准备好做些事情来解脱自己于痛苦之中。你在受苦，你只想结束这一切。你对生活没有激情，你只是想让生活尽快结束。有几件事我想让你知道关于消极自杀意念，因为它是一个非常常见、非常重要、且不幸地常常被误解的症状，你可能会惊讶于我把它称作症状。我稍后会再提到这一点，但几个月前我做过一段关于消极自杀意念的视频，尤其是在TikTok上，它是我创作过的最受欢迎的内容，观看量超过了1000万，评论有大约4万条，我简直完全失去了统计的概念。这让我意识到，我一定触动了某些人的神经，一定说中了很多人正在经历的事情，但他们并不知道自己在经历什么，也可能有很多疑问。
I actually feel kind of bad that I waited this long to make a longer form piece of content about passive SI, as we call it, just because it stirred up so much interest. And I really worry about how many people are out there feeling this way and dealing with these thoughts and probably didn't even know what to call them until a few months ago. And probably still don't know what to do about them.
实际上，我有点后悔这么长时间才做关于被动自杀意念（我们简称它为SI）的长篇内容，因为它引起了如此大的关注。我真的很担心，有多少人正在感受这种情绪并应对这些想法，可能直到几个月前才知道该如何称呼它们，甚至可能现在仍然不知道该怎么做。
So today I want to address five important pieces of information about passive SI that people usually misunderstand. I also have an important question that I'm going to ask you at the end, and your answer to that question will help you determine your next steps to figure out how to deal with these thoughts.
所以今天，我想谈谈关于被动自杀意念的五个重要信息，这是人们通常误解的。我还将会问你一个重要问题，回答这个问题将帮助你确定接下来的步骤，找出如何应对这些想法。
The first thing I want to address about passive SI is whether or not it's normal, because a lot of the comments on my initial video on this said, "Isn't this just life? Doesn't everybody just feel this way? Are there really people who don't feel this way?" A lot of people said, "Is this normal?" That was such a big question, and that's a dangerous question, honestly. Because normal can mean more than one thing, right? Like normal can mean statistically more than 50 percent. You know, normal can mean common, but sometimes we also use normal to mean that this is just the way things are, that it's going to be, we use normal to describe something that cannot be changed, that is just an inevitable part of human life.
我想先解决一下关于消极自杀意念（SI）的一个问题，那就是它是否正常，因为我在关于这一话题的初始视频下收到了很多评论，其中有人问：“这不就是生活吗？难道不是每个人都会有这种感觉吗？真的有不这样感觉的人吗？”很多人问：“这正常吗？”这是一个很大的问题，老实说，这也是一个危险的问题。因为“正常”可以有多重含义，对吧？比如“正常”可以意味着统计上超过50%的比例，你知道的，“正常”可以意味着常见，但有时候我们也用“正常”来表示事情就是这样，这就是将要发生的，我们用“正常”来形容某种无法改变的情况，某种人类生活中不可避免的一部分。
I don't know the answer to whether passive suicidal ideation is statistically normal. It's not statistically unusual. I mean, we know that much, we know. We know that at minimum, about 20% of people do experience some type of significant depression at some point in their lives. Now, on one hand, not every person who experiences depression experiences passive suicidal ideation. On the other hand, I think that number is dramatically low. I mean, I think there's way more than 20%. I wouldn't be surprised if the number of people who experience at least one depressive episode in their life is in fact above 50%.
我不知道消极自杀意念在统计学上是否正常，但它在统计上并不罕见。我的意思是，我们知道这一点，我们知道，至少有大约20%的人在某个时刻会经历某种形式的严重抑郁。现在，一方面，并不是每个经历抑郁的人都会有消极自杀意念；另一方面，我认为这个数字实际上很低。我觉得应该远远超过20%。如果经历过至少一次抑郁发作的人数实际上超过50%的话，我对此不会感到惊讶。
So if you feel this way, you know, if you from what I've said so far think that passive suicidal ideation is something you experience, I think asking whether or not it's normal is the wrong question. The second type of normal that you know is, is this just inevitable? Is not being excited about life or not necessarily feeling great about the fact that you probably have, you know, I don't know your age, obviously 30, 40, 50, maybe 60 more years of this, whatever this has been, is it weird or bad that that idea, that reality, the truth of that, does not excite you?
所以如果你有这种感觉，意思是，如果你根据我目前所说的内容，认为自己经历了消极自杀意念，我认为问它是否正常其实是一个错误的问题。第二种“正常”的定义是，这只是不可避免的吗？如果你对生活没有激情，或者你对自己可能还要有30、40、50，甚至60年这样的一种生活感到并不特别兴奋，或者不一定对这件事感到很好，这种想法、这种现实——这个事实——不让你感到兴奋，这难道是奇怪或不好的事情吗？
I don't want to come across as judgmental, because it's not my place to tell you how you should feel about your life, but what I will say is this: I think it's a very dangerous thing to accept, because I do not believe life has to feel that way. And I say this as someone who has experienced passive SI on and off for a large portion of my own life.
我不想让人觉得我在评判你，因为我没有权利告诉你应该如何看待自己的生活，但我想说的是：我认为接受这种感觉是非常危险的，因为我不认为生活必须是那样的。我之所以这么说，是因为我是一个曾经在自己生命的大部分时间里断断续续经历过消极自杀意念的人。
So I'm not some academic psychologist just pontificating about this from the Ivory Tower of my perfect life. That's not me, that's not what this channel or this podcast is about. Um, so this is something I have dealt with, and you know, it's a little presumptuous, I guess, to assume that it's the same feeling for every person, but I know what this feels like. I also know what it feels like to not have it, and there were reasons why I was feeling that way that we'll get to at the end when we get to my question for you that I want you to answer.
所以，我不是一个学术性的心理学家，只是从我的完美生活的象牙塔中高谈阔论。我不是那样的人，这个频道或播客也不是这样做的。所以这是我自己曾经经历过的事情，我知道那种感觉是什么样的。也知道不再有这种感觉是什么样的，我们会在最后，我问你问题的时候再讨论那些导致我曾经有过这种感觉的原因。
But I don't believe that passive suicidal ideation is normal from this perspective of it's just this inevitable feeling that we're all gonna have, like, basically, you know, everyone's life kind of sucks, and there's no way that's ever not going to be true, and we should all just buckle up and just accept the fact that most of life is going to be miserable. I think that is a complete load of crap. I'm not on board with that idea, but I know that it can be like that.So that's my very long-winded answer to question number one, is it normal?
但我并不认为消极自杀意念从“这只是我们所有人都会有的不可避免的感觉”的角度来看是正常的，像是基本上，每个人的生活都挺糟糕的，永远都会是这样，我们应该都系好安全带，接受大多数生活都是痛苦的事实。我觉得这完全是胡说八道。我不认同这种想法，但我知道生活有时确实可能会变成那样。这就是我对第一个问题的长篇回答--它正常吗？
Question number two, is it an indicator of severity? Because we also have, of course, active suicidal ideation. Now, active suicidal ideation is when a person is actually planning or maybe even taking steps toward ending their own life. Now, obviously, that is a very different situation.
问题二：它是否是严重程度的指标？因为我们当然也有主动自杀意念。主动自杀意念是指一个人实际上正在计划，或者甚至在采取行动结束自己的生命。显然，这是一种非常不同的情况。
In general, though, whether a person is experiencing passive or active suicidal ideation is not a great indicator of the severity of their depression. The tendency to go from passive to active, like which way you lean more often has more to do with some underlying personality traits than it does with the severity of your depression. And full disclosure, I'm basing a lot of this information on the work of Dr. Thomas Joyner at Florida State University and his interpersonal theory of suicide, which, if this is a topic that interests you at all, he's the guy to listen to. Check out his work, 10 out of 10, you will learn a lot from it.
但总体来说，无论一个人是经历被动自杀意念还是主动自杀意念，都不能很好地表明他们抑郁症的严重程度。你从被动到主动的倾向，更多地与一些潜在的性格特征有关，而与抑郁症的严重程度关系不大。坦率地说，我在很大程度上是基于佛罗里达州立大学的托马斯·乔伊纳博士及其自杀的人际理论来讲述这些信息。如果这个话题引起你的兴趣，他是你需要关注的人。去看看他的研究，绝对值得，10分满分，你会从中学到很多。
He deposits through a lot of research that he's done that people who get more into active suicidal ideation are just different types of people than the people who spend more time in passive suicidal ideation. There are personality differences in these two groups of people, mainly things like capacity for violence. So suicide or attempted suicide is a very violent act, and some people simply do not have the stomach for that type of action. It doesn't mean that their depression is not as bad. It's a line that not everybody is willing to cross. Personally, I'm thankful for that, but some people just cannot make themselves engage in acts like that, and it just is this threshold that they have inside of them.
他通过大量的研究得出结论，那些更容易陷入主动自杀意念的人，与那些更多停留在消极自杀意念中的人是不同类型的人。这两组人存在性格上的差异，主要体现在像暴力倾向这样的方面。自杀或自杀未遂是一个非常暴力的行为，有些人根本没有那种执行这种行为的勇气。这并不意味着他们的抑郁程度不如其他人严重。那是一个并非每个人都愿意跨越的界限。就个人而言，我对此心存感激，但有些人就是无法让自己做出那样的行为，这就是他们内心的一个门槛。
Another big factor is whether or not a person believes that they are a burden on others. In other words, if you feel like your existence generally makes things worse for people around you, that puts you at greater risk for being more of an active suicidal ideation thinker.
If you don't necessarily feel that way and you still believe that you have some value, or some connection, or some importance to other people, that tends to put you more in passive territory.
That still can be a mixed bag because sometimes you hate your life, you don't enjoy being alive, you feel miserable, but you know that other people want you here or need you here or would be devastated if you were gone. And so sometimes the only thing that keeps us in that passive mindset is the knowledge of how our passing would impact others.
另一个重要因素是一个人是否认为自己是他人的负担。换句话说，如果你觉得自己的存在通常让周围的人变得更糟，那就会使你更容易成为主动自杀意念的思考者。
如果你不一定有这种感觉，仍然相信自己对他人有一定的价值、联系或重要性，那通常会让你更倾向于处于消极自杀意念的状态。这仍然可能是个复杂的情况，因为有时你讨厌自己的生活，不喜欢活着，感到痛苦，但你知道其他人希望你在这里，或者需要你在这里，或者如果你离开了他们会感到崩溃。因此，有时唯一能让我们保持消极心态的，是知道我们的离去会对他人产生怎样的影响。
And that's often where we get into those "pray for death" type mentalities because you don't want to be the one who does it, because you know that that would change how other people think and feel, but you just don't know how much more of this you can take. So it's very possible, relatively common, even I would say for people with severe depression, people who are really miserable in life and who are not enjoying being here, to still primarily experience passive suicidal ideation.
这常常是我们陷入“祈求死亡”那种心态的原因，因为你不想成为那个做出决定的人，因为你知道那会改变其他人的想法和感受，但你就是不知道自己还能忍受多少。所以，对于那些经历严重抑郁、生活非常痛苦、不享受活着的人来说，仍然主要体验消极自杀意念是非常可能的，甚至是相对常见的。
so if this is you, don't think, "Well, my depression must not be that bad because I rarely, if ever, you know, get into that active mindset or where I'm really planning or thinking about what I would do." That doesn't mean your depression is mild or moderate. It very well could still be severe, and don't think that about other people either. Don't take it for granted.
所以如果你是这样的人，不要认为，“嗯，我的抑郁应该没那么严重，因为我很少，甚至从未陷入那种主动的心态，或者真的在计划或思考我会做什么。”那并不意味着你的抑郁是轻度或中度的。它仍然可能是严重的，也不要对其他人抱有这样的看法。不要理所当然地这么想。
And that kind of leads into my third piece of information that I want you to know about passive suicidal ideation, which is it can still be dangerous and it should be taken seriously. I say that for many reasons. One is you never know. I know this might seem at first like it contradicts what I just said, but it doesn't, and I'll explain why. You never know when passive suicidal ideation can morph or evolve into active. I've seen that happen many times.Again, whether this is for you or you're listening to this thinking about somebody else right now in your life, whether it's you or somebody else, don't think that, you know, while it's passive, "Oh, I know nothing's gonna happen at least." You don't know that. You don't know that this is risky territory. This is dangerous stuff, and you should always take any type of suicidal thinking seriously, whether it is yours or somebody else's.
这也引出了我想要告诉你关于被动自杀意念的第三点信息，那就是它仍然是危险的，应该认真对待。我这样说有很多原因。首先，你永远无法预料。我知道这听起来可能与我刚才说的有些矛盾，但其实并不矛盾，我会解释原因。你永远无法知道被动自杀意念何时会转变成主动自杀意念。我见过很多次这种情况。无论是你自己，还是你现在正在听这个内容，想着生活中某个人，不管是你还是别人，千万不要觉得，“哦，既然是被动的，那我知道什么也不会发生。”你不知道这一点。你不知道这是否属于危险的领域。这是非常危险的事情，你应该始终认真对待任何类型的自杀思维，无论是你的，还是别人的。
Because the other thing is sometimes passive suicidal ideation (SI) gets so bad that people put themselves in situations, and again, they're not intentionally doing something to end their own life, but they're not avoiding it either.
因为另一方面，有时被动自杀意念变得如此严重，以至于人们将自己置于某些危险的情况中，尽管他们并不是故意想结束自己的生命，但他们也没有避免这种情况。
they're not engaging in behaviors that are congruent with self-preservation. Sometimes you see things like reckless driving or heavy substance use, recklessness with medications, but not to the point where it's like I'm making an attempt on my own life. But there are levels of not caring about what happens to you, and those high levels of not caring can be very, very dangerous. So please, please, please, please, please, if there's one thing you get from today, always take it seriously, even if it's you.
他们没有表现出与自我保护相一致的行为。有时你会看到像鲁莽驾驶、过度使用物质、对药物的鲁莽使用，但并不是到那种我要自杀的程度。但不在乎自己会发生什么的程度是有层次的，而这些高程度的不在乎可能是非常非常危险的。所以，请、请、请、请、请，如果今天你能从中学到一件事，那就是，永远要认真对待，哪怕是对你自己来说。
And I know that might sound hypocritical because it's hard to always take seriously the thing you think might be the way out of your suffering. Like, I know how that sounds, and I know that you can't just stay here for other people forever. At some point, this life would have to not feel the way it currently feels to you in order for you to see any value in sticking around.
I believe that it can change. I know it can, and I'm not going to bang that drum too hard today, but I've been there, okay? And I know it can change, unless something permanent happens, and then it won't. And who knows what the next step is after that? So please, please, please, please, please take it seriously.
我知道这听起来可能很自相矛盾，因为当你认为自杀是摆脱痛苦的出路时，你很难一直将它当作一件严重的事情来看待。我知道那种感觉，我也知道你不能永远为别人而活。在某些时候，你必须改变自己对生活的感受，才能看到继续活下去的价值。
我相信生活是可以改变的，我知道它可以改变，我今天不会过多强调这一点，但我曾经经历过，好的？我知道它是可以改变的，除非发生一些永久性的事情，否则它是可以改变的。而那之后会发生什么呢？谁知道呢？所以请务必认真对待。
The fourth thing I want you to know is that there is a difference between passive suicidal ideation and intrusive thoughts about death. Let me explain that because it may not sound different. An intrusive thought is an idea or an image or a concept that will pop into your mind somewhat frequently, and you're not intentionally thinking about this thing. You're just going about your day, taking care of your business, and all of a sudden your brain just boom—death, right? Or it could be anything. In this example, it's death. So if you're driving, and you're like on a heightened level—on an off-ramp or something, you know what I mean, right? Like you kind of look out your side window and you're like, "That's a good 30 feet down there. If I slipped off this road right now, I'd be in for a bit of an adventure," and that could end very badly for me. If, in a flash, you're driving and that cliff just pops into your mind, and it freaks you out, and you're like, "Oh my gosh!" and you grip the wheel tighter and pay really close attention to what you're doing, that's not passive suicidal ideation. That's an intrusive thought.
我想让你知道的第四件事是，消极自杀意念和关于死亡的侵入性思维是有区别的。让我解释一下，因为它们听起来可能没有什么不同。侵入性思维是指一个想法、图像或概念，它会频繁地出现在你的脑海中，而你并不是有意去思考它。你只是照常过着一天，忙着自己的事，突然你的大脑就“砰”一声——死亡，对吧？或者它可能是任何事情。在这个例子中，它是死亡。所以，如果你在开车，处于一种紧张的状态——比如在一个出口路段，知道吧？你看着侧窗，突然想到：“那下去有30英尺呢。如果我现在滑下这条路，我会有点冒险，”而且这可能会对我非常不利。如果在一瞬间，你开车时，那个悬崖突然出现在脑海里，让你吓了一跳，接着你紧紧握住方向盘，注意力集中在自己正在做的事上，那就不是消极自杀意念了。那是侵入性思维。
The difference is intrusive thoughts are not urges; they're not impulses. In fact, the vast majority of intrusive thoughts that we experience are things that we explicitly do not want to happen. There are things that disturb us or freak us out, and they're things that we're trying to stay away from. Our brains kind of latch onto that and remind us, "Hey, this could happen, so be really careful."
区别在于，侵入性思维不是冲动，也不是冲动行为。事实上，我们经历的绝大多数侵入性思维都是我们明确不希望发生的事情。这些是让我们感到困扰或吓到的事情，是我们试图避开的一些事物。我们的脑袋会抓住这些想法，提醒我们：“嘿，这可能发生，所以要特别小心。”
Whereas with passive suicidal ideation (SI), there is desire behind it. There is some level of a wish that it would happen or a desire to have it happen. So if you have thoughts or images of your own death, and they terrify you and disturb you, and they make you want to pay attention to what's going on or work very hard to make sure that thing doesn't happen, that's not passive SI. That's an intrusive thought about death. So, it is important to know the difference.
而消极自杀意念（SI）背后则有一种愿望。它包含某种程度的希望它发生，或者希望它发生的欲望。所以，如果你有关于自己死亡的想法或图像，且它们让你感到恐惧和困扰，并让你想要更加注意自己发生的事情，或者非常努力地确保这件事不会发生，那么那就不是消极自杀意念。那是关于死亡的侵入性思维。因此，知道这两者的区别是很重要的。
The last thing I want you to know about passive SI, and this will lead into the question that I've been teasing this whole time, is that in most cases, it is treatable. Now, it's not directly treatable—there's not like a therapeutic protocol or a medication for passive SI. But the vast majority of passive SI comes from depression or some type of mood disorder. It comes from depressive episodes, I should say. We can have depressive episodes for many reasons, of course—major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, just to name a few.
But most experiences of passive SI take place within the context of a depressive episode, and depressive episodes can be treated. They are typically treated by either therapy, psychiatric medication, or a combination of the two. So if you are experiencing some of what I've described today, and you are not currently seeking treatment or receiving treatment for a mood disorder, I would highly, highly recommend that today be the day you start to figure out what you want to do. And by what you want to do, I mean, do you want to start with therapy? Do you want to start with meds? Do you want to start with both? Do you want to see a doctor or a psychiatrist for meds? What kind of therapist do you want to see?
关于被动自杀意念，我想告诉你的最后一件事，这也将引出我一直在提示的那个问题，那就是在大多数情况下，它是可以治疗的。现在，它并不是直接可以治疗的——并没有什么针对被动自杀意念的治疗方案或药物。但绝大多数被动自杀意念源自抑郁症或某种类型的情绪障碍。更准确地说，它源自抑郁发作。我们当然可以因为多种原因经历抑郁发作——例如，重度抑郁症、双相情感障碍、情感性精神障碍等等。
但大多数被动自杀意念的经历发生在抑郁发作的背景下，而抑郁发作是可以治疗的。通常可以通过治疗、精神药物或两者结合来治疗。所以，如果你正在经历我今天所描述的某些情况，并且你目前没有接受情绪障碍的治疗或寻求治疗，我强烈建议你今天开始思考你想要做什么。
这里所说的“你想做什么”是指：你想先从治疗开始吗？你想先从药物开始吗？你想同时开始治疗和药物吗？你想看医生或精神科医生拿药吗？你想看什么类型的治疗师？
Start the process of finding help now because this is miserable, and I don't want you to have to live this way any longer than is necessary. It's probably already been going on for too long. I do not want you to have to deal with this alone anymore, and there are people out there who want to help. That being said, here's my question to you, and this is a simple question, but it's a hard question, and I know it's a hard question. You might have an answer right away, but you might not either one is okay. When we experience depression and anhedonia and passive suicidal ideation, there's this feeling that goes along with it. I call it the whole, and if you felt it, you'll instantly know what I mean. There's this feeling of an absence inside of you. It's just that something, something is missing. There's a black hole, or like an empty spot, or a vacuum inside of you where there should be feelings, and those might be feelings like excitement, or love, or peace, or contentment, and you just can't feel them in that spot. Like there's a... I think this will make sense to you. There's a spot inside where those feelings should be, and for me, I guess it must be here because I'm pointing—I'm probably off-camera, but I'm pointing to like right where my heart is probably.
现在就开始寻找帮助，因为这种感觉很痛苦，我不希望你再这么活下去，除非是必须的。可能它已经持续太久了。我不希望你再独自面对这一切了，
外面有很多人愿意帮助你。话虽如此，我想问你一个问题，这是一个简单的问题，但也是一个难的问题，我知道它很难。你可能立刻就有答案，也可能没有，两个答案都可以。当我们经历抑郁、快感缺失和消极自杀意念时，会有一种伴随其后的感觉。我把它称为“空洞”，如果你曾经感受过，你马上就会明白我的意思。那是一种内心的缺失感。就像是有些东西，某些东西不见了。你内心有一个黑洞，或者是一个空荡荡的地方，或者是一个真空，应该是有感情的地方，
而这些感情可能是兴奋、爱、平静或满足，但你就是无法在那个地方感受到它们。就像是有一个……我想你应该能理解。那个地方应该有这些感情，而对我来说，我猜它一定在这里，因为我指着——我可能在镜头外，但我指的是大概在我的心脏位置。
sometimes you just can't feel those things. I believe that there are two reasons for the whole. There are two reasons that we feel empty inside sometimes. Reason number one is you're experiencing a depressive episode or some type of mental health crisis. Reason number two is something is wrong with your life, and they're not mutually exclusive either. So, it's possible to have both reasons. But the question is, am I feeling this whole in my life? Am I... Is the reason that I am not excited to wake up tomorrow morning because there's something wrong with my mental health, or is it because my life shouldn't reasonably make me feel that way?
有时候你就是感受不到那些情感。我相信有两个原因会导致这种“空洞”的感觉。我们有时会感到内心空虚的两个原因。第一个原因是你正在经历一次抑郁发作或某种心理健康危机。第二个原因是你的生活出现了问题，这两个原因并不互相排斥。所以，可能会同时存在这两个原因。但问题是，我是否在我的生活中感受到这种空洞？我是否……我不期待明天早上醒来的原因，是因为我的心理健康出了问题，还是因为我的生活本应让我有不同的感受？
In other words, like do you look at your life, if you kind of zoom out of your own head for a minute... No, we can't really do that. Just pretend. If you take a bird's-eye view of your life, you look at it as an outsider, as a person who's never met you before, do you look at your own life and say, "That person probably should be like fairly happy. That person looks to have a pretty good life," and if that person is kind of wanting to die half the time, there's probably something going on. Something's not working quite right in their mind. Their neurotransmitters aren't communicating as efficiently as they should be, or something's blocking all this influx of positivity in their life.
换句话说，如果你暂时从自己的头脑中抽离出来……不，我们其实做不到这个。假装一下。如果你从鸟瞰的角度来看自己的生活，像一个从未见过你的人那样观察自己，你会怎么看自己的生活？你会说：“那个人应该是相对幸福的吧。他看起来过得挺不错。”如果那个人有一半时间都想死，那可能就说明有什么问题。可能他们的心里有些不对劲。他们的大脑神经递质可能没有像应该的那样高效沟通，
或者有什么东西阻碍了他们生活中所有积极情感的流入。
Because sometimes that's the reason, or is there something missing? Because sometimes that hole is a lie, sometimes that hole is a symptom. Sometimes things are good, sometimes things are fine, and they just feel like they're terrible, but they aren't. They're good, they're all right, and sometimes they aren't. Sometimes the whole is real. Sometimes there is something that should be present in your life that is not there. Maybe you have a gift, a special talent, or ability that nothing in your life is allowing you to use, and that can create a whole.
因为有时候那就是原因，或者是有什么东西缺失了？因为有时候那个空洞是个谎言，有时候那个空洞是个症状。有时候一切都很好，有时候一切都没问题，可是你却觉得一切都很糟糕，但实际上并非如此。一切很好，没问题，但有时候并非如此。有时候那个空洞是真实的。有时候生活中确实缺少某些本该存在的东西。也许你有某种天赋、特殊才能或能力，但生活中没有任何东西让你能够发挥它，这就可能会创造出那个空洞。
Maybe you are missing something in your life that you've always known you needed, something you were meant to have, like a partner or children or some certain career. There might be something missing.
也许你缺少生活中一直知道自己需要的东西，像是伴侣、孩子或某些特定的职业。也许你生活中缺少某些东西。
Maybe you don't have a sense of purpose. Maybe you don't have a spirituality or a religious connection to something that you need. Maybe you do need something. Maybe something is missing. It's important to ask this question and try your best to answer it because it's going to take you in two very different pathways. Your answer is going to lead you down one or two roads, and you have to ask and answer this question because, here's the part I hate, I hate that I'm about to say this, but it's true.
也许你没有目标感。也许你没有精神寄托，或者没有与你需要的某种宗教或信仰的联系。也许你确实需要某种东西，也许有什么东西缺失了。问这个问题并尽力回答它是很重要的，因为它会把你引向两条非常不同的道路。你的答案会把你带向其中一条路，你必须问并回答这个问题，因为——我讨厌接下来要说的这句话，但它是真的——
So, I'm going to tell you, I have felt both. I've had periods of life when I knew life was good, like I know that I'm all right right now, and I know that this feeling inside of me right now is a problem, is a symptom. I know everything's all right, I just can't feel it right now. I've also felt the whole because something was missing, because something was wrong, because my life wasn't going the way it was supposed to be, and that feeling wasn't fake. It was a genuine, authentic reaction to my legitimate life circumstances. This is the part that I hate. They feel identical. At least for me, I guess that's presumptuous of me to assume that that's true for all people, but at least for me, they feel identical. I cannot tell the difference just by how I feel.
所以，我要告诉你，我曾经经历过这两种感觉。我有过生活中明确知道一切都好的时刻，比如我知道自己现在没问题，我知道我内心的这种感觉是个问题，是一种症状。我知道一切都好，只是现在感受不到而已。我也有过因为缺少了什么，或者因为生活出了问题，生活没有按照预期发展而感到空洞的时刻，那种感觉不是假的。它是对我现实生活情况的真实、真诚的反应。这就是我讨厌的部分。它们感觉一模一样。至少对我来说，我想这样假设可能有些自负，假设这对所有人都适用，但至少对我来说，它们感觉是一样的。我仅凭感觉无法区分它们。
If I'm actually experiencing a real hole in my life, if something is really like... have I gone astray on my life course, or am I just unable to enjoy what I already have right now? And again, I'm making this an either-or question. It's very possible to have a bit of both too, but I want you to be thinking about this, because if you feel that it's more of a symptom, then that's going to put us back more on that treatment route, right? Like you have a life you've worked very, very hard to build and assemble, and this life should be capable of making you feel good, and it's not doing it. Probably because something inside of you isn't quite working right, we can help with that.
如果我真的在经历生活中的空洞，如果真的是有某种……我是不是偏离了自己的人生轨迹，还是我只是无法享受我现在已经拥有的东西？再次提醒，我把这个问题设定成了“非此即彼”的形式。当然也很可能两者都有，但我希望你思考这个问题，因为如果你觉得这更像是一种症状，那么这会让我们回到治疗的路线，对吧？就像你拥有一段你非常非常努力建立和组建的生活，而这段生活应该能让你感到快乐，但它没有做到这一点。可能是因为你内心的某些东西没有正常运作，我们可以帮助解决这个问题。
But if it's the other, if something is truly missing in your life that you need to be content or happy, medication definitely can't help with that. And really, like, you wouldn't want it to anyway, probably, right? Like making you feel fake good about a life that isn't actually right for you—that's a scary thought. I don't know if I'd want that, that's a scary thought.
但如果是另一个情况，如果你的生活中确实缺少某些东西，而这些东西是你感到满足或快乐所需要的，那么药物肯定无法帮你解决这个问题。而且，实际上，你可能也不想靠药物来解决这个问题，对吧？比如让你感到虚假的幸福，去面对一个实际上并不适合你的生活——这是一个可怕的想法。我不知道我是否愿意那样，那真是个可怕的想法。
Therapy can help in the sense that it gives you a place to help figure that out, like to help work through, like, well then, what is it? You know, what is it that I'm missing? What do I need? Therapy can help with that. It can't solve the problem for you, but it can give you a person to bounce ideas off of. It gives you this dedicated period of your day where you explore what's going on inside. Because we get busy, right? We get caught up in our day-to-day, we don't spend a lot of time on these kinds of questions, and that's part of how our lives can spiral so out of control so easily.
治疗可以在某种程度上提供帮助，因为它为你提供了一个帮助你弄清楚这一点的地方，帮助你处理——那么，究竟是什么呢？是什么在缺失？你需要什么？治疗可以帮忙解决这个问题。它不能为你解决问题，但它能给你一个可以交换想法的人。
它给你一个专门的时间段，让你去探索内心发生了什么。因为我们会变得忙碌，对吧？我们陷入日常生活，没花很多时间去思考这些问题，而这也是我们生活很容易失控的原因之一。
So I want to make sure that you really think about this because if you feel strongly it's one or the other, then that tells you a little bit about where you need to go from here. Now, unfortunately, you know, if you do realize, "I think something actually is missing from my life," obviously I cannot tell you what that is. The only person who's ever going to be able to figure that out for sure is you. And I do want you to have help in that process. I do still recommend that you go to therapy in that scenario as well, but please know that ultimately the only person who's going to be capable of unraveling that web is you. But there's nothing wrong with getting some help in doing so—some support, some structure, et cetera, et cetera.
所以我希望你真的认真思考这个问题，因为如果你非常确定是这两者中的一种，那就能告诉你接下来该怎么做。不幸的是，如果你意识到“我觉得生活中确实缺少了什么”，显然我无法告诉你那是什么。
唯一能真正弄明白这一点的人是你自己。我确实希望你在这个过程中能得到帮助。我依然建议你在这种情况下去接受治疗，但请记住，
最终唯一能解开这张网的人是你自己。但在这个过程中寻求帮助——比如支持、结构等等——是完全没有问题的。
So I hope you know more now about passive SI than you did heading into this video or this podcast episode, however you're choosing to listen to it. I left the word "it" out of that sentence—important, important word there. If you did get some good value out of this, all I ask is that you show me some support in some way or another. You can do that by subscribing, you can do it by leaving a review, you can do this by sharing it with somebody who you think would benefit from this message. All I want is for this to get out to people who need it, so if you can help me do that, you have more than paid me back for the time and effort I put into this. Thank you so much for being here, and I will see you next time. Take care.
所以我希望你现在对被动自杀意念（passive SI）有了比你观看这段视频或收听这集播客之前更多的了解，不管你是通过什么方式在收听。我在那句话里漏掉了“it”这个词——这是个很重要的词。如果你从这段内容中获得了一些价值，我唯一要求的就是以某种方式支持我。你可以通过订阅支持，可以通过留言评价，或者把这段内容分享给你认为能从中受益的人。我只是希望这些信息能够传递给那些需要的人，所以如果你能帮我做到这一点，你就已经用你的方式回报了我投入的时间和精力。非常感谢你在这里，下一次见。保重。