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Hello friends and welcome back to our brand new podcast episode.
Hi everyone, I'm your host Emily and joining me is Kevin. Today we're going to talk about something I think everyone can relate to.
Indeed. And I have a feeling you're talking about friendship, right?
Yes, exactly. So, Kevin, how many friends do you have right now?
Hm, that's a tricky question. If you mean real friends, the ones who actually stay in touch and support me, I'd say just a few. Quality over quantity, you know.
Very well said. So, now let's talk about how to understand whether someone is our real friend. What do you think, Kevin?
Good question. I think a real friend is someone who supports you not only when things are going great, but also when life gets tough.
Exactly. Many people are around when you're happy or successful, but real friends stay when you're sad, broke, or struggling.
Right? Real friendship shows up during both good and bad times. It's about loyalty, not convenience.
The second thing is honesty, even when it's hard to hear the truth. If a friend can't be honest with you, that friendship won't last long.
Yeah, absolutely. I remember once I was about to post a photo on social media and I thought I looked great, but my friend Sarah texted me and said, "Kevin, maybe choose another one. This one's a bit blurry." I was like, "What?" But later I realized she was right. That's real friendship. Being honest, not fake.
Yes. A real friend doesn't just say, "You look perfect all the time." They care enough to tell you the truth kindly. Exactly. Fake friends just agree with everything to keep you happy, but true friends help you become better.
Now, let's talk about the third point. A real friend accepts you for who you are.
Yes, that's so true. I've seen people who only stay around when you act or look a certain way, but a real friend doesn't expect you to be perfect.
Exactly. I have a friend who always laughs at my silly jokes, even when they're not funny. She never tries to change me. She just gets me.
That's a good one. I think that's the best feeling when someone understands your weird side and still sticks around.
Right. You can be fully yourself. No pretending, no fear of being judged. And that's when you know this person is not just a friend, they're family.
You know, another one that's a real sign of a strong friendship is when you're totally comfortable sharing silence. Like you don't feel the need to fill every second with chatter.
Oh, 100%. That's the real test, isn't it? When you can just sit together, maybe drinking tea or scrolling on your phones, and it doesn't feel awkward at all. That's true comfort.
Exactly. I was just thinking about this the other day. I was at the park with my best friend, and we just sat on a bench for ages, people watching, not really saying much. And it wasn't weird. It was actually just really nice.
I love that. It's like the connection is so strong. Words just become optional. You don't need to be on all the time.
Yes, that's it. With real friends, silence isn't awkward. It's peaceful. You're just together.
Now, let's dive into the other side of the coin. Fake friends. You know, those who seem to take more than they give.
Absolutely. The takers. They really stand out when you're always the one initiating plans or when you find yourself in the role of their personal cheerleader while they rarely return the favor.
Exactly. It's like you're keeping the friendship alive solo. If you were to stop reaching out, it would vanish without a trace. And they only resurface when they need something, a favor, someone to lean on, or even help with a move.
It can be so exhausting. A genuine friendship should feel like a two-way street, not a one-way road where you're doing all the heavy lifting. You end up feeling more like a resource than a friend.
So, basically, they only appear when they need something and vanish when things get tough. It's like they only care when it's convenient for them.
Another red flag is a friend who is constantly critical or unsupportive. You know, the one who always seems to point out what you're doing wrong, but never celebrates your wins.
Oh, I know the type. It's like you share exciting news, a new job, a new idea, and instead of being happy for you, they immediately point out a potential problem or make a sarcastic comment. It just drains all your excitement.
There's a big difference between a friend who gives you constructive feedback because they want you to succeed and one who just tears you down. One is building you up, the other is just criticism. A real friend challenges you to be better. A fake friend just makes you feel bad about yourself. If you leave an interaction with them feeling worse than when you started, that's a major sign.
It really is. Your circle should lift you up, not weigh you down.
You know, one thing that can really test a friendship is when someone talks behind your back. Have you ever experienced that?
Oh, definitely. It's such a betrayal when someone you thought was a friend spreads gossip or shares opinions without talking to you first.
Right. It really makes you question their loyalty. If they can't say something to your face, it shows a lack of respect.
Exactly. I remember a time when a friend was talking negatively about me to others. And I found out through a mutual friend. I felt so hurt and confused.
That's really tough. It can make you feel like you can't trust that person anymore. Friendship should be built on open communication, not behind the back chatter.
Absolutely. When I realized what was going on, I knew I had to confront her. It was uncomfortable, but I needed to clear the air.
Good for you. Addressing it head-on is the only way to deal with that kind of situation. It's better to know where you stand to be left wondering.
For sure. And I think real friends should be able to talk about issues directly. If you can't discuss things openly, how can you call it a friendship?
Exactly. A real friend values your feelings and wouldn't talk about you in a hurtful way. They'd rather discuss things with you to make the bond stronger.
And what's scary is that talking behind someone's back can be such a slippery slope. Once it starts, it can lead to more misunderstandings and create a toxic environment.
So true. It's like a chain reaction. One negative comment can lead to more gossip and before you know it, it can spiral out of control.
Yeah. And sometimes the things being said aren't even true. It's frustrating because it can damage your reputation unnecessarily.
That's why it's essential to surround yourself with people who uplift you and respect you enough to discuss issues openly. It saves everyone the heartache.
Exactly. And if you find out someone is talking behind your back, it's worth considering whether they really belong in your inner circle.
Absolutely. Life is too short for friendships that aren't genuine. Letting go of those who don't respect you can open up space for better relationships.
Well said, Kevin. Here's to finding and nurturing friendships that stand the test of time, ones built on trust, respect, and honest communication.
You know, I've been really thinking about how important it is to choose friends wisely. Absolutely. It's all about surrounding yourself with people who uplift you.
Right. I've heard about the let them theory. It's so liberating to stop chasing friendships that just aren't reciprocated.
Exactly. I used to force relationships, but now I can see the difference between fake friends and those who are just limited in their capacity.
Yes, it's crucial to set boundaries to protect your peace.
For sure. When you prioritize your well-being, everything else falls into place.