Vs Lions
It was not a warm and sunny day. It was, in fact, the complete opposite to the week before. A week ago, lads were dying of dehydration. This week - hypothermia.
The Cosmos arrived with optimism and hopes of dishing out another 6-0 taming of the Lions. Cosmos arrived early to get the ball at their feet and find their touch on the moist surface. Josh Rolfe kindly prepared his Space Jam inspired Love Potion for the boys which was met with mixed reactions from the team.
It should be noted that there was a whole lot of disgrace prior to kick off. Many Cosmos were seen wearing the incorrect kit. Nick, who proclaimed in the off-season that he wouldn’t miss kick offs, turned up at 2:45 after having going out for ‘a quiet one’. Sy was completely MIA and Yung Kev acted like a Premier League footballer with cuts in his socks citing “it gives him cramps”.
As the match kicked off, most of the early drama happened off the pitch.
WGQ head of security whizzed across on his hoverboard demanding that Betty, the fearsome pooch, to be removed from the pitch. WGQ brought in the heavies with some irritating woman who wittered on for far too long. Frank and Yung Kev’s mum argued a strong case for Betty to remain pitchside while Scott spat his dummy out about why SIFL don’t play games at WGQ anymore. All this happened to the soundtrack of digital eagles (or pterodactyls) ringing loudly in the skies for some reason. It’s good to know that a good proportion of our league fees will be going towards this nonsense throughout the year.
Meanwhile on the pitch…
Out of nowhere a ball over the top played in the Lions striker who forced Kang into a superb save. Ken, oblivious to his dog’s controversy on the touchline, continued to run past the Lion cub at left back.
James McGowan, making his debut for the Cosmos, played a daisy cutter of a corner which only just reached the first man. Gaffer OB had seen enough and hooked the ex-Shooters ace for the now-sober Nick.
Controversy on the pitch. Peter, the Alpha Lion, played a superb ball over the top to the Lion’s striker whose calm placement bounced back off the post and was bundled in, only for the referee to call a foul on Kang. No one quite understood why. A let off.
A period of uncertainty then followed. Some loose passes and a lack of cohesion began creeping into the play largely due to worsening conditions. Until, a long ball over the top. Ken chased well and barged the Lion’s keeper who fell to the floor and rolled around like prime Neymar.
And then a moment of magic. A real delight for fans of the game. Ken fired the ball across the box. It bounced off a defender to Josh who controlled the ball with two kicks of the ball that you’d expect to see to see at under 12s level before a majestic R1 Circle over the goalkeepers head. Josh raced to the cameras Gerrard-esque but missed. The Love Potion worked!
The lead was short lived, however. In the build up the Lions goal, Ash, who hadn’t drank his Love Potion, got turned inside and out, collapsed to the floor and let out an ‘OH’, much to the amusement of Scott. This passage of play ultimately led to a Lions equalizer with Kang wrong footed after a hefty deflection.
In the final moment of the half, Lions had a free kick. The ball came into the box and all presumed it would end with a routine catch by Kang. Kang, keeping everybody on their toes, punched the ball directly into the onrushing attackers resulting in a scramble to clear the ball away instead.
The first half drew to a close with the rain now falling harder.
By the time the second half kicked off, everyone was sodden, except for Scott, who was sipping through his umpteenth lager under the tent. Cosmos and Lions weathered the storm for most of the second half. The ball was zipping and zapping with both sides having chances to take the lead but squandering them when through on goal. Shaun came on as a striker for the first time in his Cosmos career and, seeing the Lions keeper off his line, tried a couple of attempts to beat him with both narrowly going over the bar.
Ken had the beating of his man every time but wasn’t able to get the shots away that he would have liked. On one occasion, Ken played the ball across the box beating the advancing forwards but the ball came so kindly to the feet of Ash who kicked more fresh air than ball.
Sy had eventually turned up for a run around at the end yet it was his involvement that led to some final drama in the final minutes.
Sy played a through ball which was then kicked too short by the Lion’s defender as a back pass allowed Ken to race through.
One on one with the goalkeeper.
Surely the winner.
Surely.
No.
Smashed over the bar.
(Ken hadn’t drank the Love Potion).
Full time Cosmos 1 - 1 Lions
After the game, lads enjoyed the warm showers, particularly Mike OB who came in to ‘wash his feet’ and have a little look… After getting all dry, Slippers lost his slippers and trudged back out in the rain to retrieve them.
A Fireball-less awards on the bus saw Shaun and Dan lead through the highs and lows of the day, including a reprimanding to Scott for being a big bully. There was some casual banter and limited frivolity on the bus until arriving at the Laowaijie Beer Festival for some lagers and a hook up with the MatterFact boys, Jake and Sparks, selling out their wares.
Two points from two might not seem like the most impressive of starts, but they could be two very important points later in the season. Let’s see. Up the Cosmos!
***Game week 2***
🟢 Cosmos vs Lions
📅15:00 20th Sept 3pm
📍Waigaoqiao 🌧️ 25
Goals & assists
Garry Bing ⚽️ 28'
Ken Beattie 🦮
🏆 Our MOTM : Kang
🥇Their MOTM : Kang
Kang
Aidar 🟨
Dennis
Dan Jeff (C)
Ash
Slippers
Cian
James
Jack
Bing ⚽️
Beattie
Sy ➡️
Nick ➡️ 🟨
Shaun ➡️
Young Kev ( Unused sub )
Frank ( Unused sub )
Gaffer OB
Injurys / Ultras
OB, Scott / Ken’s mom
