【每日斯多葛】10月13日

October 13th 

REVENGE IS A DISH BEST NOT SERVED

“The best way to avenge yourself is to not be like that.”

—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.6

“How much better to heal than seek revenge from injury. Vengeance wastes a lot of time and exposes you to many more injuries than the first that sparked it. Anger always outlasts hurt. Best to take the opposite course. Would anyone think it normal to return a kick to a mule or a bite to a dog?”

—SENECA, ON ANGER, 3.27.2

Let’s say that someone has treated you rudely. Let’s say someone got promoted ahead of you because they took credit for your work or did something dishonest. It’s natural to think: Oh, that’s how the world works, or One day it will be my turn to be like that. Or most common: I’ll get them for this. Except these are the worst possible responses to bad behavior.

As Marcus and Seneca both wrote, the proper response—indeed the best revenge—is to exact no revenge at all. If someone treats you rudely and you respond with rudeness, you have not done anything but prove to them that they were justified in their actions. If you meet other people’s dishonesty with dishonesty of your own, guess what? You’re proving them right—now everyone is a liar.

Instead, today, let’s seek to be better than the things that disappoint or hurt us. Let’s try to be the example we’d like others to follow. It’s awful to be a cheat, to be selfish, to feel the need to inflict pain on our fellow human beings. Meanwhile, living morally and well is quite nice.

10月13日 

最好的复仇，就是不复仇

“为自己复仇的最好方式，就是不要变得和对方一样。”

——马可·奥勒留，《沉思录》，6.6

“与其因为受到伤害而寻求报复，疗愈自己岂不是好得多？复仇浪费大量时间，而且会让你遭受比最初激起复仇念头的伤害更多的伤害。愤怒持续的时间总是比伤痛更长。最好采取相反的做法。难道有人会认为，被骡子踢了一脚就踢回去，或者被狗咬了一口就咬回去，是正常的吗？”

——塞内卡，《论愤怒》，3.27.2

假设有人对你态度粗鲁。再假设有人因为冒领了你的工作成果，或者做了某些不诚实的事情，而抢在你前面获得晋升。你很自然会想：哦，原来这个世界就是这样运转的；或者：总有一天，我也要像他们那样。或者，更常见的是：这笔账我一定要跟他们算。但这些恰恰是面对恶劣行为时最糟糕的回应。

正如马可·奥勒留和塞内卡都写过的那样，恰当的回应——实际上也是最好的复仇——就是根本不寻求报复。如果有人对你粗鲁，而你也以粗鲁回应，那么你所做的一切，不过是向对方证明，他们当初的行为是有理由的。如果你用自己的不诚实去回应别人的不诚实，猜猜会怎样？你正在证明他们是对的——现在人人都是骗子了。

所以，今天，让我们努力成为比那些令我们失望或伤害我们的事情更好的人。让我们努力成为自己希望别人效仿的榜样。欺骗、自私，或者觉得有必要向其他人施加痛苦，都是非常糟糕的事情。与此同时，按照道德原则好好生活，其实是一件相当美好的事。