编者按：
此前我们分析了武汉考区的高分续写与应用文，帮助非浙江考生了解高分标准。武汉阅卷严谨度与大部分新课标卷地区相近，但并非最宽松区域。
那么，浙江考区的标准如何？在续写进入浙江高考的十年间，学生水平显著提升。“情节不偏、语料得当”在其他考区可能斩获24分，但在浙江仅能触及及格线。顶尖考生的文章已具备“文学倾向”，超越了单纯的语料堆砌。若句子“表演感”过重或刻意追求高级辞藻，反而难以获得高分。
本文分享两篇来自杭二滨江的年级范文（已获作者授权）。这两篇文章契合现阶段浙江高分续写的要求，其中一篇更是阅卷专家青睐的“小清新”风格，堪称无可争议的佳作。通过解析这两篇文章，旨在展示浙江高分续写的具体水准。
试题速览
考场文章解析：第一篇
Paragraph 1: As Paul’s health slowly worsened, our AI creation became our closest bond. Every day our online chatting window was filled with different types of images — from daily routines to creative products of brainstorming. We shared nearly everything that amused us, and Midjourney made those images visible. Each time I scrolled through the screen, I would wear a subtle smile instinctively. When it came to the preparation for the new calendar of 2025, the only obstacle was that there were so many meaningful photos that I couldn’t even put one aside! The AI-produced cartoon characters of us three seemed to be alive as I sank myself into our memories. Ultimately, I selected 25 photos, carefully cut them along the edge of the figure, and stuck them in the order of time. Soon the date we had been looking forward to for a whole year came.
Paragraph 2: We spread our printed-out calendars over the desk with those magic-filled pictures. I just couldn’t believe that we had already gone through so many cheerful moments together! Though we didn’t stay together as in college, we celebrated each other’s birthdays online, enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner through images, and exchanged every random thought just like we did before. And most importantly, in the Midjourney-generated world, Paul was a healthy man — he went hiking and cycling like a normal person, and sometimes even flew up to the sky like a superman. My lips trembled, seeming to say something, but every word failed when I met Paul’s eyes, from which I could see the endless pure energy and love of the world. Gripping Evan’s and Paul’s hands firmly, one warm and one cold, I suddenly learned that our bonds would never collapse and our love would always be on Midjourney.
第一段点评
句法与衔接：首句以“Every day”交代交流频次，体现“closest bond”内涵。使用“online chatting window”等地道表达，由面及点，既概括交流状态，又具体说明图片内容（日常与创意），紧扣Midjourney功能。第二句解释前句现象，完成逻辑衔接，再次回扣核心工具。两句即回应了段首句。
细节刻画：第三句切入个人视角，“subtle smile”与“instinctively”略显语义重复，但整体无伤大雅。第四句转折至制作日历，衔接稍显生硬，建议增加对过去一年回忆的铺垫。其中“so many meaningful photos”精准捕捉生活细节，体现续写对现实的映照。
逻辑瑕疵：第五句从选照片跳跃至AI卡通人物栩栩如生，建议补充翻阅动作以增强连贯性。“AI-produced”复合词使用准确。第六句动作链（selected-cut-stuck）清晰，但数字“25”不如“24”（每月两张）合理，且未提及打印步骤。第七句结尾为第二段做铺垫，但未有效衔接“制作完成”与“展示”场景，建议改为送达Paul处。
总体评价：该段忽视了对Paul病情恶化（worsened）的刻画，人物互动不足（Paul与Evan几乎隐身），主要呈现“我”的独角戏。若能补充图片带来的情感能量（magic），并与第二段呼应，效果更佳。尽管存在衔接跳跃，但在高压考场下，其细致观察与地道表达仍值得肯定。
第二段点评
情感与结构：首句以情感反应衔接，概括共同经历的美好时刻。建议补充Paul与Evan的动作细节，增强空间在场感。第二句列举生日、感恩节等具体事例，体现文化意识与生活感，结构由面入点，非常精彩。
主题升华：第三句构建虚拟健康世界，体现“科技向善”，立意高远。但措辞稍显跳出日历本身，建议紧扣挂历画面描述。第四句刻画“我”的动容与失语，通过眼神交流展现Paul的生命力，但过渡略显欠缺。结尾通过冷暖手的对比回扣主题，但“gripping”动作与前文“trembled”衔接需更自然，建议增加伸手动作或优化主旨句表达。
总体评价：第二段兼具文化意识与细节把控，虽有个别衔接断层，且过于聚焦“我”的感受而缺乏对他人的深入观察，但在浙江严苛阅卷环境下，凭借优秀卷面与精彩细节，可获22-23分高分。这种“小清新”文风深受阅卷专家组喜爱，细微的情节瑕疵常被掩盖。
考场文章解析：第二篇
Paragraph 1: As Paul’s health slowly worsened, our AI creation became our closest bond. He was soon too weak to walk and could only move in a wheelchair, which limited him a lot. But in his pictures, all the difficulties and suffering he was going through faded away: he sometimes imagined us becoming astronauts, traveling freely through the planet; sometimes he portrayed us three lying on the bench beneath the scorching sun, our skin weathered. And there were also some funny items like a sun wearing sunglasses or a lake made of ice-cream. In response to his positive images, we also sent him encouraging positive feedback. In the world AI created for us, we were just three normal friends counting the stars and dreaming of our future with unrealistic thoughts. As the days went by, we three carefully selected our favorite pictures and made the calendar. The day we received the calendar, Evan and I went to the hospital to meet Paul.
Paragraph 2: We spread our printed-out calendars over the desk with those magic-filled pictures. Though Paul’s face was pale as paper and looked so weak, no one mentioned it. We just immersed ourselves in the world we created. “Look at this!” Paul pointed at one picture. “It’s the day we went out to see the beach!” His fingers were trembling. And he slowly took out another picture, explaining to us the details and the stories behind it. In the picture, Evan and I were screaming as Paul had really hooked a huge fish. Vividly portraying our expressions and actions, he had a huge beam on his face, and his eyes sparkled. It seemed as if we were really running together. Suddenly, I realized that the disease had never driven us apart. On each of the 365 days, we had a picture capturing our shared smile. On each of the 365 days, we lived in a shared dream together. Holding Paul’s hands tightly, I knew we three would live together forever in the delicate calendar, despite all the disease.
第一段点评
病情刻画：首句紧扣“health worsened”，用轮椅限制行动体现病情，优于前篇。建议利用文本意象（如从手杖到轮椅的变化）增强表现力，并自然引出Midjourney的作用。
画面构建：第二句通过宇航员与晒太阳的对比，展现科技消除痛苦的功能，构思巧妙。但长句节奏欠佳，建议拆分；“weathered”一词与温馨氛围不符，建议调整为更柔和的表达。同时需强化三人互动的描写，以扣住“closest bond”。
互动与收尾：后续句子补充幽默画面，但建议明确行为目的以增强衔接。回应反馈部分略显功能性，缺乏细节，建议改为“以图回图”的具体互动。结尾部分略写日历制作过程，导致情节重心失衡，且未交代打印与配送环节，致使第二段场景转换稍显突兀。
总体评价：该段画面感强，语言掌控力佳，但过于侧重Paul的创作，忽视“我”与Evan的反应，导致互动感不足。场景分配失衡，日历制作过程被压缩，影响后续逻辑。
第二段点评
场景利用：首句利用医院环境的苍白衬托Paul的病容，“no one mentioned it”体现默契与关怀。建议进一步利用医院特定细节（如白墙、白光）增强氛围。
情节推进：由沉浸世界到具体指认照片，由面入点，衔接自然。但Paul的身体状态与精力描写存在矛盾，虚弱病人难以进行生动讲述。建议区分日历图片与普通照片，并细化翻页动作。当前描写模糊了两者界限。
情感升华：后半部分通过排比句强调365天的共享梦境，层次分明。结尾升华主题，但“I realized”前的铺垫不足，建议增加当下感受的描写以平滑过渡。最后一句微调后可更具感染力。
总体评价：第二段情节推进稍显混乱，未清晰区分“日历图片”与“生成照片”，且过度聚焦Paul，忽视其他两人的即时反应，导致结尾感悟略显突然。尽管如此，凭借优秀字体与第一段的扎实基础，仍可获20-22分。
