【每日斯多葛】9月25日

September 25th

THE VULNERABILITY OF DEPENDENCE

“Show me someone who isn’t a slave! One is a slave to lust, another to greed, another to power, and all are slaves to fear. I could name a former Consul who is a slave to a little old woman, a millionaire who is the slave of the cleaning woman. . . . No servitude is more abject than the self-imposed.”

—SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 47.17

We’re all addicts in one way or another. We’re addicted to our routines, to our coffee, to our comfort, to someone else’s approval. These dependencies mean we’re not in control of our own lives—the dependency is.

“Anyone who truly wants to be free,” Epictetus said, “won’t desire something that is actually in someone else’s control, unless they want to be a slave.” The subjects of our affection can be removed from us at a moment’s notice. Our routines can be disrupted, the doctor can forbid us from drinking coffee, we can be thrust into uncomfortable situations.

This is why we must strengthen ourselves by testing these dependencies before they become too great. Can you try going without this or that for a day? Can you put yourself on a diet for a month? Can you resist the urge to pick up the phone to make that call? Have you ever taken a cold shower? It’s not so bad after the first couple of times. Have you ever driven a friend’s car while the nicer one you own was in the shop? Was it really that bad? Make yourself invulnerable to your dependency on comfort and convenience, or one day your vulnerability might bring you to your knees.

9月25日

依赖带来的脆弱

“给我找一个不是奴隶的人看看！有人是欲望的奴隶，有人是贪婪的奴隶，有人是权力的奴隶，而所有人都是恐惧的奴隶。我可以说出一位曾经的执政官，他成了一个小老太太的奴隶；也可以说出一位百万富翁，他成了清洁女工的奴隶……没有任何奴役，比自己强加给自己的奴役更加卑下。”

——塞内卡，《道德书信》，47.17

从某种意义上说，我们每个人都是“上瘾者”。我们依赖自己的日常习惯，依赖咖啡，依赖舒适，也依赖别人的认可。这些依赖意味着，真正掌控我们生活的并不是我们自己——而是这些依赖。

爱比克泰德说：“任何真正想获得自由的人，都不会去渴望实际上掌握在别人手里的东西，除非他想成为奴隶。”我们所依恋的对象可能在一瞬间从我们身边被夺走。我们的日常习惯可能被打乱，医生可能禁止我们喝咖啡，我们也可能突然被置于令人不舒服的处境之中。

正因为如此，我们必须在这些依赖变得过于强大之前，通过主动测试它们来让自己变得更强。你能不能有一天不碰这个或那个东西？你能不能让自己节食一个月？你能不能忍住拿起电话打那个电话的冲动？你试过洗冷水澡吗？前几次之后，其实也没那么糟。你有没有在自己的好车送去维修时，开过朋友的普通车？真的有那么难受吗？让自己不再因为依赖舒适和便利而变得脆弱，否则总有一天，这种脆弱可能会让你屈膝倒下。