【每日斯多葛】9月14日

September 14th

A DIFFERENT WAY TO PRAY

“Try praying differently, and see what happens: Instead of asking for ‘a way to sleep with her,’ try asking for ‘a way to stop desiring to sleep with her.’ Instead of ‘a way to get rid of him,’ try asking for ‘a way to not crave his demise.’ Instead of ‘a way to not lose my child,’ try asking for ‘a way to lose my fear of it.’”

—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 9.40.(6)

Prayer has a religious connotation, but in life we all find ourselves hoping and asking for things. In a tough situation, we might silently ask for help; or, after a tough break, for a second chance from above; during a sports game, we might sit on the edge of our seat wishing for some outcome. “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon,” we say. “Please . . .” Even if it is to no one in particular, we’re still praying. Yet it’s so revealing in these moments, when we’re privately, powerfully yearning for something, just how nakedly selfish our requests usually are.

We want divine intervention so that our lives will magically be easier. But what about asking for fortitude and strength so you can do what you need to do? What if you sought clarity on what you do control, what is already within your power? You might find your prayers have already been answered.

9月14日

换一种方式祈祷

“试着换一种方式祈祷，看看会发生什么：不要祈求‘找到一个和她上床的办法’，而要祈求‘找到一个不再渴望和她上床的办法’。不要祈求‘找到一个摆脱他的办法’，而要祈求‘找到一个不再渴望他死亡的办法’。不要祈求‘找到一个不失去孩子的办法’，而要祈求‘找到一个不再害怕失去孩子的办法’。”

——马可·奥勒留，《沉思录》，9.40.(6)

祈祷带有宗教意味，但在生活中，我们每个人都会发现自己在希望、在请求某些事情。在艰难的处境中，我们可能会默默祈求帮助；遭受重大挫折之后，我们也许会祈求上天再给一次机会；观看体育比赛时，我们可能会坐在座位边缘，盼望某个结果出现。“加油，加油，加油，”我们会说。“拜托……”即使我们并没有在向某个特定对象祈求，从某种意义上说，我们仍然是在祈祷。而这些时刻特别能揭示一个事实：当我们私下里强烈渴望某件事情时，我们的请求往往是多么赤裸裸地以自我为中心。

我们希望得到神明的干预，让自己的人生神奇地变得更加轻松。但为什么不祈求坚韧和力量，让自己有能力去做必须做的事情呢？如果你祈求的是更加清楚地认识哪些事情真正由你控制、哪些力量本来就在你自己手中，又会怎样呢？你也许会发现，你的祈祷其实早已得到了回应。