【每日斯多葛】8月31日

August 31st

CONSIDER YOUR FAILINGS TOO

“Whenever you take offense at someone’s wrongdoing, immediately turn to your own similar failings, such as seeing money as good, or pleasure, or a little fame—whatever form it takes. By thinking on this, you’ll quickly forget your anger, considering also what compels them—for what else could they do? Or, if you are able, remove their compulsion.”

—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 10.30

Earlier we were reminded of Socrates’s tolerant belief that “no one does wrong on purpose.” The clearest proof of that hypothesis? All the times we did wrong without malice or intention. Remember them? The time you were rude because you hadn’t slept in two days. The time you acted on bad information. The time you got carried away, forgot, didn’t understand. The list goes on and on.

This is why it is so important not to write people off or brand them as enemies. Be as forgiving of them as you are of yourself. Cut them the same slack you would for yourself so that you can continue to work with them and make use of their talents.

8月31日

也想想你自己的过错

“每当你因为别人的错误行为而感到冒犯时，立刻转而想想自己类似的过错，比如把金钱视为好东西，把享乐视为好东西，或者把一点点名声视为好东西——无论你的过错采取什么形式。这样想一想，你很快就会忘记自己的愤怒；同时再考虑一下，究竟是什么迫使他们那样做——否则他们还能怎么办呢？或者，如果你有能力，就帮助他们消除这种迫使他们如此行事的力量。”

——马可·奥勒留，《沉思录》，10.30

前面我们曾提到过苏格拉底那种宽容的信念：“没有人会故意做错事。”这个假设最有力的证据是什么？就是我们自己那些并非出于恶意、也并非故意而做错事情的时刻。还记得吗？有一次，你因为两天没睡好而对别人态度粗鲁。有一次，你根据错误的信息采取了行动。有一次，你一时冲动过了头；有一次，你忘记了；还有一次，你根本没有理解发生了什么。这样的例子可以一直列下去。

这就是为什么我们绝不能轻易把一个人彻底否定掉，或者给他们贴上“敌人”的标签。像原谅自己一样去原谅他们。也像你会宽待自己那样，给他们同样的宽容和余地，这样你才能继续与他们合作，并发挥他们的才能。