开头引人入胜 结尾让人回味
开头平淡无奇，结尾冗长啰嗦或虎头蛇尾，可以说是很多中国学生在写作essay时存在的突出问题。一般来说，像common essay这类以个人经历为题材的essay开头，要尽量设计成一个诱饵（hook），能够吊起招生官的胃口，吸引招生官饶有兴趣地读下去。而简洁有力的结尾，通常都会给人回味的余地。为写好开头结尾，我给同学们的建议是，可以先将整个故事流水账似地写出来，然后再深入思考，从中挑选一个情节构思一个有趣的、能够吸引人们眼球的开头，然后再思考出一个简洁且令人回味的结尾。
为了让同学们对上述理论知识有一个感性认识，我们就分别来看一些开头和结尾的具体例子。先来看一篇essay的开头： I remember the exact shoes I was wearing on my way back from the showers on that particular day of summer camp. I remember them because for that brief moment they ceased to be ordinary shoes and transformed into murder weapons.
分析：普通的一只鞋会变成夺命的武器，恐怕任何人都急切想了解事情的原委，会迫不及待接着读下去。essay这样的开头绝对会让一个读者欲罢不能接着读下去。 再来看几个具有这样效果的essay开头： 1.Ten years ago, I was a spy. 2.My most important experience sought me out. It happenedto me; I didn't cause it. 3.I'M GOING RUNNING TODAY. I am not concerned about my calorie consumption for the day, nor am I anxious toget in shape for the winter season. I just want to go running. 中国学生在写申请essay的结尾时常出现两种问题：一是喋喋不休长篇大套地发感悟，另外一种是将essay草草结尾，让人感觉突兀、草率。我们就来看一个写得非常出色的essay结尾： Last summer did indeed turn out to be an unbelievable learning experience. Although Mr. Stessin taught me a great deal about music and the piano, in the end hisgreatest lesson was about life. 分析：去年暑假令人难忘的学习经历，从老师身上学到的不仅是音乐和钢琴知识，更重要的是对生活的态度，从而在结尾升华了这篇描写个人经历的essay的主题。 而下面的例子是我指导学生写作common essay的一个实例，将如何写作一篇essay的开头和结尾进行了较为详细的剖析。
在2012-13申请季，有个学生准备将自己在街边卖唱资助山区一名贫困小学生的经历作为common essay的写作素材。学生的初稿只是将这段经历流水账般地描述出来。经过思考，反复斟酌，我帮助这名学生设计了如下的开头：
“Mom, in today’s school meeting, our school called on us to finance students in the mountain area.” “That’s a good thing! Tell me how much you need!” “Not a penny! I’ll earn it by myself during the summer vacation” “What? You earn it by yourself?” “Yes! I promise you!”
通过母子间的这一段对话，将事情的起因、自己决意自己挣钱筹款简单明了地介绍出来。这段画面感较强的对话，会不自觉地激起读者的好奇心：这名学生如何来挣到这笔钱呢？这样就形成了一个吊人胃口的诱饵，让这篇essay的开头部分先声夺人，吸引读者读下去。
而在这篇essay的结尾，我建议这名学生除了将事情发展的结局—将通过街边卖唱筹集到的1200多元钱捐给山区贫困小女孩，通过简洁的语言写出来后，还要借助读小女孩感谢信，将自己准备寒假继续街边卖唱为小女孩筹集学费的打算呈现出来，从而让自己真心帮助贫困小女孩、同时一心追求音乐梦想的形象得以进一步在招生官心中加深。 During the summer vacation I performed about ten times. I earned about 1200 RMB, with which I financed a disadvantaged girl in the mountain region so that she can continue her education. Having read her “thank you” letter, I decided to be a street singer again in the winter vacation for her tuition fee as well as my music dream. 学生的这篇申请essay的确给美国大学招生官留下了较为深刻的印象。罗切斯特大学的招生官在给这名学生的录取函中这样写道：“Your efforts as a street singer raising money for charity convinced me that you belong here. I’m confident you will write an interesting new chapter in the Rochester’s 163-year history.”