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‘I had a dream that I drowned in a sea of Google tabs’
‘I f**king love WeChat groups’
‘We’re clearly amateurs at dating someone with one leg’
‘James Blake is so emotional. I want to ask him what happened’
‘I wanted to go on that ride because two kids came out crying’
‘I saw a middle-aged man with the freshest fade I’ve ever seen. I can’t stop thinking about it’
'I can't wear heals...I can barely wear knickers'
'Mojitos are #1 cause of infertility in China, didn't you know?'
'I want a croissant and a puppy'
'I'm here sh**ting. I've got the s**ts. I think it was the mulled wine'
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