1. Relationships, Relationships, Relationships
What happens when you look at the happiest people and scientifically analyze what they have in common? Researchers did just that.
There was a clear answer to what differentiated these people from everyone else — and it wasn’t money, smarts, age, gender or race.
It was strong social relationships.
Via The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work:
Turns out, there was one—and only one—characteristic that distinguished the happiest 10 percent from everybody else: the strength of their social relationships.
If you do one thing today to be happier, spend time with friends.
Not spending more time with people we love is something we regret the most.
2. Do More, Not Less
The happiest people are those that are very busy but don’t feel rushed:
Who among us are the most happy? Newly published research suggests it is those fortunate folks who have little or no excess time, and yet seldom feel rushed.
So what do you need to be doing?
Things you’re good at.
The old saw “those who do what they love never work a day in their life” seems true.
3. Do Not Stay In A Job You Hate
Karl Pillemer of Cornell University interviewed nearly 1500 people age 70 to 100+ for his book “30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans.”
What piece of advice were they more adamant about than any other? More adamant about than lessons regarding marriage, children and happiness?
Do not stay in a job you dislike.
Take a lesson from people who have already seen most of what life has to offer: do not waste time in a job you hate.
4. Plan Your Happiness
It’s ironic that we treasure happiness so much yet often treat it as this random bit of alchemy we luck into. That’s silly.
Passively waiting for happiness is a losing proposition. Happiness needs regular appointments.
Schedule the things that make you happy.
…what is interesting is that there is often a gap between where people say they want to spend their time and how they actually spend their time… you find a large percentage know what projects and people energize them, but do not in fact spend much time on those projects and with those people.
Look at the things that make you happy and plan them into your calendar and schedule.
5. Happiness Isn’t Everything
No one confuses the type of happiness ice cream brings with the positive feelings one gets from raising a good kid.
Happiness is a vague word. We need happy feelings but we also need meaning in our lives.
And research shows they are related but distinct:
Meaningfulness was linked to doing things that express and reflect the self, and in particular to doing positive things for others. Meaningful involvements increase one’s stress, worries, arguments, and anxiety, which reduce happiness. Happiness went with being a taker more than a giver, while meaningfulness was associated with being a giver more than a taker.
Happiness in the moment is not everything.
The first is being happy in your life. It is happiness that you experience immediately and in the moment.
The second is being happy about your life. It is the happiness that exists in memory when we talk about the past and the big picture. Stories are key here. This is closer to “meaning.”
6. Give — But *Not* Until It Hurts
Giving makes us happier than receiving. In fact, it can create a feedback loop of happiness in your life.
Helping others reach their goals brings joy. Doing nice things for others today can literally make you happier for the rest of the week.
However, being a martyr stresses you out and is bad for your health.
What to do? Do all your giving one day a week.
How much should you give? Remember The 100 Hour Rule. One hundred hours a year — in other words, 2 hours per week.
A hundred hours a year breaks down to just two hours a week. Research shows that if people start volunteering two hours a week, their happiness, satisfaction and self-esteem go up a year later.
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