不能亲吻，不能拥抱—疫情之下，人们怎样面对生离死别？

01

意大利：殡仪馆不堪重负

ROME — At around midnight on March 15, Renzo Carlo Testa, 85, died from the coronavirus in a hospital in the northern Italian town of Bergamo. Five days later, his body was still sitting in a coffin, one of scores lined head to toe in the church of the local cemetery, which is itself closed to the public.

罗马——3月15日午夜，85岁的伦佐·卡洛·泰斯塔在意大利北部城市贝加莫的一家医院死于新冠病毒。五天后，他的尸体仍然躺在棺材里。在当地公墓的教堂中，几十具尸体首尾相连，而公墓已经停止对外开放。

His wife of 50 years, Franca Stefanelli, would like to give him a proper funeral. But traditional funeral services are illegal throughout Italy now, part of the national restrictions against gatherings and going out that have been put in place to try to stem the spread of Europe's worst outbreak of the coronavirus. In any case, she and her sons could not attend anyway, because they are themselves sick and in quarantine.

与他相伴50多年的妻子，弗兰卡·斯特凡内利想为他举办一场体面的葬礼。但是现在传统的丧葬服务在整个意大利都被法律禁止。为了阻止欧洲最严重的新冠病毒疫情，意大利对集会和外出采取了部分限制措施。无论如何，她和儿子也无法参加葬礼，因为他们自己也被感染了，目前在隔离中。

"It’s a strange thing," Stefanelli, 70, said, struggling to explain what she was going through. "It’s not anger. It’s impotence in the face of this virus."

“这是一种奇怪的感觉，”70岁的斯特凡内利很难理解她正在遭遇的事情，“并不是愤怒，而是面对病毒的无力感。”

Undertakers at a cemetery in Bergamo, Italy, on March 13.

3月13日殡仪人员在意大利贝加莫的公墓

In Italy, with the oldest population in Europe, the toll has been heavy, the most outside of China. And the bodies are piling up in the northern region of Lombardy, especially in the province of Bergamo. 

作为欧洲人口老龄化最为严重的国家，意大利遭受了巨大的影响，疫情死亡人数仅次于中国。尸体在伦巴第北部堆积，尤其是在贝加莫省。

Hospital morgues there are inundated. Bergamo’s mayor, Giorgio Gori, issued an ordinance that closed the local cemetery this week for the first time since World War II, though he guaranteed that its mortuary would still accept coffins. Many of them had been sent to the Church of All Saints in Bergamo, located in the closed cemetery, where scores of waxed wooden coffins form a macabre line for cremations.

医院的太平间尸满为患。贝加莫的市长乔治·戈里这周颁布了关闭当地公墓的法令，这是自二战以来第一次公墓关闭。不过他保证，太平间仍可以存放棺材。其中许多棺材被送去了贝加莫的万圣教堂，教堂位于一个封闭的墓地内，里面停放了几十具涂了蜡的木质棺材，排成了一条可怕的长龙，等待火化。

"Unfortunately, we don’t know where to put them," said Brother Marco Bergamelli, one of the priests at the church. He said that with hundreds dying each day, and with each body taking more than an hour to cremate, there was an awful backlog. 

“不幸的是，我不知道把尸体放在哪里，”教堂的牧师马可·贝加梅利说。他说，因为每天有数百人死亡，每具尸体火化又需要一个多小时，所以有大量积压的工作。

An emergency national law issued recently banned civil and religious ceremonies, including funerals, to prevent the spread of the virus. Officials have allowed priests to say a prayer at burials attended by just a few of the bereaved. In his brief prayers to family members, who often wore masks, Bergamelli said that he tried to give consolation and hope and urged people to be close, if permitted, to those who were alone. "This tragedy reminds us to love life," he said.

最近，意大利颁布了一项紧急国家法律，禁止举办公民和宗教仪式以防止病毒传播。葬礼也因此被禁止。目前，意大利官方已经允许牧师在只有少数死者家属参加的葬礼上祈祷。贝加梅利在向一般戴着口罩的家庭成员作简短祷告时说，他试图给予他们安慰和希望，也敦促人们在允许的情况下，与那些孤独的人保持亲密关系。“这场悲剧提醒着我们热爱生命，” 他说。

A death notice for Renzo Carlo Testa appeared on March 17 in a local paper, L’Eco di Bergamo.

当地报纸《贝加莫回声》于3月17日刊登了佐伦·卡罗尔·泰斯塔的死亡通知。

Mr. Testa's death notice appeared on March 17 in a local paper, L'Eco di Bergamo. The paper usually has a single page of death notices. On that day there were 10 pages, and the rest was dedicated to the virus devastating Bergamo.

泰斯塔先生的死亡通知于3月17日刊登在了莫斯科本地报纸《贝加莫回声》上。这张报纸一般会有一页用于刊登讣告，在那一天却用了十页——其余的版面也都在关注扫荡贝加莫地区的新冠病毒。

"For us, it's a trauma, an emotional trauma," said Alberto Ceresoli, who edits the paper. "These are people who die alone and who are buried alone. They didn't have someone hold their hand and the funerals have to be tiny, with a quick prayer from the priest. Many of the close relatives are in quarantine."

“对于我们来说，这是一种创伤，一种情感创伤，” 报纸《贝加莫回声》编辑阿尔贝托·塞雷索利说道，“这些死者独自死去，独自被埋葬。没有人握住他们的手。葬礼被迫从简，只有牧师快速的祷告。他们的很多近亲也在隔离（因而不能出席）。”

02

美国：鼓励民众“云葬礼”

Isabel Cabrera Galindo was a social woman who loved gardening, going to church and drinking beer. But when the 82-year-old recently died of natural causes, her friends and family were told they couldn't attend the funeral in person. Instead, they watched the burial via a livestream. But many either couldn't figure out how to use it or struggled to hear key parts of it.

伊莎贝尔·卡布雷拉·加林多喜欢园艺、去教堂和喝啤酒，是个喜欢社会交际的女性。最近，这位82岁的老人自然老死。然而她的朋友和家人却被告知他们不能亲自参加葬礼，而只能通过直播观看。但他们中的许多人要么不知道如何使用软件，要么难以听清葬礼的关键部分。

Just days after the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention urged funeral directors to move services online to help prevent the spread of the virus amid the coronavirus outbreak, families like the Galindos are grappling with an unthinkable new normal.

就在几天前，为了防止冠状病毒爆发期间病毒的传播，疾病控制和预防中心敦促殡仪馆馆长将服务转移到线上。在这以后，像加林多一家这样的家庭不得不努力应对这种难以想象的新常态。

"Being a millennial on the internet, I've watched my fair share of livestreamed events, but it was sad for all the wrong reasons," her 27-year-old grandson Garrett Galindo told CNN Business. "It was sad that my grandmother, a woman known for her love of large gatherings, parties and get-togethers, would have her final service be in front of only 10 of her loved ones. It was sad that even with today's technology it was so difficult to hear her eulogy, and it was sad knowing we couldn't share those final moments together as a family."

“作为互联网上的千禧一代，我观看了相当多的直播活动，但这次我对观看直播的原因感到难过。”伊莎贝尔27岁的孙子加勒特·加林多在接受 CNN Business 的采访时说，“我的祖母，一个以喜欢大型聚会，派对和联欢会而闻名的女人，在她所爱的人中却只能有10个人为她做最后的礼拜，这真是令人难过。更可悲的是，即使是在今天的科技水平下，我们也很难听到她的悼词。与此同时，当我们知道不能一家人陪她走完最后一程时，我们也十分悲伤。”

Ahead of the service, St. Helens Roman Catholic Church in Phoenix, Arizona, informed the family that attendance should be kept to a minimum due to the outbreak. Isabel Galindo's three children and their spouses, along with three of her 11 grandchildren, went in person. Garrett's father used his iPhone on a tripod to broadcast the service online from his private Facebook account.

就在葬礼开始前，亚利桑那州菲尼克斯市的圣海伦斯罗马天主教堂通知家属，由于疫情爆发，到场人数应保持在最低限度。因此，亲自到场的只有伊莎贝尔·加林多的三个孩子和他们的配偶，以及她11个孙子辈中的三个。加林多的父亲在三脚架上用他的iPhone在其私人Facebook账户上直播了这场葬礼。

"There were about 20 or so people watching," said Garrett Gallindo, who tuned in on his laptop while working from home." My grandmother had more friends than one could count, but the vast majority of them aren't too internet or tech savvy. If they were, I would expect that number to be closer to 100."

“当时大约有20人在观看，”加勒特·加林多说，他在家工作时打开笔记本电脑收看了葬礼，“我祖母的朋友比任何人都多，但绝大多数人都不太懂网络技术。如果他们懂的话，我预计这个数字将接近100。”

This photo shows a funeral that was affected by new rules put in place due to the coronavirus outbreak in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

在美国威斯康星州密尔沃基市，因新冠病毒爆发，葬礼也受到了新规定的影响。

However, just as people have criticized livestreamed religious services in the past for being an unsatisfying replica of the in-person experience, some feel the same way about bringing funeral online.

然而，正如人们过去曾批评直播宗教仪式是现场体验的一种令人不满的复制品，如今，有些人对云葬礼也抱有同样的想法。

"I'm glad to have seen some portion of [my grandmother's livestreamed funeral], but otherwise, I'm upset about the whole ordeal," said Garrett Gallindo. "It's hard to feel a part of anything when you're sitting at home."

加勒特·加林多在接受采访时说：“（在严重的疫情下）能够看到我祖母葬礼直播的一部分已经令我感到欣慰。但除此之外，这样的折磨还是让我非常难过……当你坐在家里的时候，会很难对任何事情感同身受。”

03

爱尔兰：牧师通过电话祈祷

The Irish wake is a long, social goodbye. But this pandemic has robbed families of such tradition. Now, the new normal is often no wake, no funeral, just a few prayers in a cemetery.

爱尔兰的守灵是一场漫长且具有社交性的告别仪式。但这场流行病剥夺了爱尔兰家庭举行这一传统的机会。目前，新常态就是一些人在墓地祈祷，没有守灵仪式，没有葬礼。

Anne Best was buried without a church ceremony after dying with Covid-19, John McVitty  

安妮·贝斯特因感染新冠病毒去世，还没有举行教堂仪式就被下葬了。(约翰·麦克维蒂拍摄)

Across Ireland, the main churches--Catholic, Presbyterian, Church of Ireland and Methodist--have set out rules for their priests, their ministers, their congregations. In some places, there is still room for a kind of wake or a funeral, it just has to be much smaller--people must keep their distance.

在爱尔兰各地，主要的教会——天主教、长老会、爱尔兰教会和卫理公会——都为他们的神职人员、牧师和教徒制定了规则。在一些地方，仍然有类似的守灵仪式或葬礼，只是规模要小得多，人们必须要保持距离。

In the Catholic diocese of Clogher that straddles the border between Northern Ireland and the Republic, the guidelines have been tightened. There will be no weddings, no baptisms and no funeral Masses for those who die--these will take place when the crisis has passed. Clogher Bishop Larry Duffy said he was "saddened" but this was about protecting lives. Priests will not attend wakes and bereaved families will be supported over the phone. 

在跨越北爱尔兰和共和国边界的克洛格天主教教区，制度变得更加严格。这里将没有婚礼，没有洗礼仪式，也没有为那些死去的人举行的葬礼。所有的仪式将在疫情结束后才能举行。克洛格主教拉里·达菲表示，他对取消仪式感到难过，但这样做是为了保护人们的安全。神父不会出席守灵仪式，但会通过手机给死者亲友提供帮助。

Speaking on Radio Ulster's Sunday Sequence, Fr Brian D'Arcy talked about his struggle to support people. Showing compassion from the far end of a telephone was not easy, he said. "I never before had to comfort people in an intensive care ward by phone and that's all I can do at the present time," he said, "How do you comfort them when they can't see their loved one who died?"

在阿尔斯特电台的周日节目中，神父布莱恩·达西谈到了他为支持人们而付出的努力，在电话的另一头表达同情并不容易。“我之前从未通过电话来安慰重症监护室的病人，但这是我目前唯一能做的事。” 他说。“你要如何在电话中安慰那些痛失所爱的人？”

The coronavirus has robbed people of final contact, they cannot see or talk to or touch the person they love in their final hours or afterwards. "All of that is important for healthy grief." he said.

新冠病毒剥夺了人们临终前的接触机会，在他们所爱之人的弥留之际和葬礼上，他们无法和对方说话、更不能触碰对方。达西说：“所有对爱人告别的行为都能够帮助人们以良好的心态走出悲伤。”

Most of all, it feels like people are being robbed of what's most precious when they are at their lowest point. "People are going through the hardest time of their lives and you are saying no to this and no to that," he said, "Our tradition is about coming together and going over old times." At the moment, there is no longer the place for that.

最重要的是，人们似乎是在最低谷的时候被夺走了最宝贵的东西。“人们正在经历人生中最艰难的时刻，你却让他们不可以这么做，不可以那么做。” 道加尔说，“我们的传统是聚在一起，重温旧时光。” 但目前情况并不允许人们这样做。