你是否正在与孤独作斗争？
If you are LONELY,please follow us.
本文约2200字 阅读约需8分钟
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2022年2月，英国Prince's Trust(王子信托基金)的一项研究显示，约四分之一的年轻人认为自己永远不会从疫情所造成的崩溃情绪中恢复过来，约40%表示对与人交往感到焦虑，约三分之一表示他们不知道如何结交新朋友，约35%表示他们从未感到如此孤独。
A cut from The Guardian.
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为什么年轻人会对交友如此焦虑呢？
一部关于成长的电影《伴我同行》（Stand By Me）中的一句台词或许可以解答：“I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12.”
Being a teenager you already have to navigate a lot of difficulties. You are exploring your identity and your place in the world. Add the pandemic that has separated you from your peer group, the schools stripping out support services, 12 years of austerity and the explosion of social media and you have a perfect storm.
作为年轻人，你正在探索自己的身份认知和在社会上的位置，加上疫情封控将你与同龄人分开，同时离开了学校和老师，以及社交媒体的爆炸式发展，都是让你可能面临孤独危机的原因所在。
NEWS
年轻人比以往任何时候都更加孤独
2022年初，一段TikTok视频在Twitter上流传开来，视频中一名泪流满面的女孩正谈论着友谊和孤独。“我有爱我和关心我的人，但很明显，他们只是2级或3级朋友，我不得不独自度过过去的两年（疫情隔离期间）。”
PHOTO: FRANCESCO SAMBATI / EYEEM
Loneliness appears to be more pervasive than ever, but it's difficult to say if virus-enforced isolation was the cause – or whether it just revealed a crisis that was waiting to happen.
孤独似乎比以往任何时候都更加普遍，但很难说病毒和隔离就是“罪魁祸首”——它也许只是一场必然发生的危机的导火线。
“People are being driven to work, despite everything that’s going on. Workplace culture removes our ability to link together in our grief and become less lonely. Capitalism is inherently alienating. But there’s also a level of being uncomfortable experiencing other people’s grief if we’re already experiencing our own. We're trying to cling onto this appearance that we're all okay: But what's the prize?” she says. “There isn't one.”
她说：“疫情时代，人们仍在拼命工作。职场文化消解了我们在悲伤中寻找联系的能力，让我们变得不那么孤独。资本主义本质上是异化的。但是，如果我们已经在经历自己的悲伤，那么每个人都不愿再去感同他人的身受。我们试图戴上假面，装作自己一切都好：但是这样做有什么好处？没有。”
NEWS
2015年，英国广播公司BBC曾做过一项迄今为止世界上最大规模的“孤独实验”，大约55，000人参与其中，最终得出了以下结论（此处仅列出部分）：
1. 年轻人是最孤独的人群
在16-24岁的人群中，40%的人常常感到孤独；而在75岁以上人群中，仅有27%。
We saw higher levels of loneliness in young people across cultures, countries, and genders.
无论文化、地域和性别，年轻人的孤独感均更高。
2. 受到歧视的人更容易感到孤独
We found that if people are made to feel that they are different in a negative way, levels of loneliness are higher. Those who filled in the version of the survey for people who are blind or partially sighted reported slightly more loneliness, particularly if they felt discrimination was high.
如果人们认为自己不合群，那么孤独感就会更高。例如，那些认为自己受到歧视的盲人和部分视力较差的人会更加孤独。
3. 独处并不完全等同于感到孤独
约五分之四的人喜欢拥有独处时光，而三分之一的人认为独处就会感到孤独。
People who said they were always alone were more likely to say they felt lonely.
那些总是独来独往的人更有可能感到孤独。
4. 只有网友的人更容易感到孤独
People who report high levels of loneliness don’t use social media any more often than other people, but they use it differently. They have more Facebook friends who they are only friends with online and who don’t overlap with their real-life friends.
有强烈孤独感的人不会比其他人更加频繁地使用社交媒体，但他们会用另一种方式使用。他们拥有很多网友，并且仅仅是网友，与现实生活中的朋友完全不重叠。
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为什么年轻人会如此强烈地感到孤独？
⚪ 他们调节情绪的经验较少，因此一切感觉都来得更加强烈。
⚪ 这可能只是他们一生中第一次或第二次感到孤独，他们没有机会知道孤独感只是短暂的。
⚪ 16-24岁是认知不断变化的年龄。年轻人正在研究他们如何与他人相处以及自己在社会中的地位。这个过程在某种程度上是自然孤立的，所以在这段时间里感到孤独是很正常的。
Looking back, older people said that young adulthood was the time when they felt loneliest, so perhaps it’s not modern life which is making some people feel lonely. Perhaps this was always the loneliest stage of life.
据一些老人回忆，成年期是他们感到最孤独的时候，所以也许并不是现代生活让人们感到孤独，可能这本就是人生中最孤独的阶段。
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如何克服过度的孤独情绪？
1. 寻找分散注意力的活动或将时间花在工作，学习和培养爱好上。
这是目前最受欢迎的解决方案。
If you can find an activity that absorbs your attention so much that you don’t even notice the time passing, you can experience what’s known as a state of “flow” which can improve your well-being.
找一种能分散注意力的活动，以至于你甚至没有注意到时间的流逝，这有助于提升幸福感。
2. 加入社交俱乐部或参加一些消遣放松的活动
If the idea of chatting to strangers makes you nervous, choose a club where you might be doing something side by side – craft classes or a choir perhaps.The key is to choose something you’re really interested in and then you might find you have lots in common with the other people there.
选择一个俱乐部——也许是手工艺课或合唱团。关键是要选择你真正感兴趣的东西，然后你可能会发现你和那里的其他人有很多共同点。
3. 大胆与陌生人交流
It can take some nerve to start chatting to strangers, but you don’t have to say anything deep. There’s a reason talking about the weather is so popular in the UK – it’s changeable so you can say to someone in a shop or at the bus stop “hot/cold/wet/lovely isn’t it?”
开始与陌生人聊天可能需要一些勇气，但你不必探讨任何深刻的话题。谈论天气在英国如此受欢迎是有原因的，你可以对商店或公共汽车站的人说“热/冷/湿/正好，不是吗？
4. 与家人和朋友分享你的感受
We found that many people do still feel there’s a stigma surrounding loneliness, but the good news is that younger people said they would be less likely to conceal their loneliness than older people. So perhaps over time it’s getting slightly easier to talk about it.
许多人仍然觉得说自己孤独有一种耻辱感，但好消息是，年轻人表示他们比老年人更难以隐藏自己的孤独感。因此，也许随着时间的推移，谈论它会变得更加容易。
5. 看到他人身上的闪光点
If you think someone has snubbed you, ask yourself to look really hard at the evidence for whether this is true and then suggest alternative options. Maybe they were busy or tired or perhaps feeling sad or nervous themselves. It was probably nothing to do with you.
感到孤独的人平均对他人的信任程度较低。因此，这个解决方案就是有意识地寻找人们最好的一面，以便更加信任他们。如果你认为有人怠慢了你，问问自己这是否属实，也许是因为他们很忙或很累，或者他们自己感到悲伤或紧张，可能与你无关。
6. 静下心来等待孤独感消逝
It’s encouraging that so many people who have felt lonely found that waiting for the feeling to pass did work, because it shows that many feelings of loneliness do disappear over time.
令人欣慰的是，许多感到孤独的人发现等待这种感觉过去确实有效，它会随着时间的推移而消失。
7. 不要害怕别人拒绝自己的邀请
Everyone wants to think that other people like them and most are pleased when they’re invited to something. But try not to feel afraid of them saying no. If they say they are busy that day, they probably are. Don’t assume that they’re just avoiding you.
每个人都想让大家喜欢自己，都想让大家答应自己的邀请，但尽量不要害怕他们说不。如果他们说他们那天很忙，他们可能确实如此，不要以为他们在躲避你。
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你常常感到孤独吗？
重点词汇：
snub v.冷落，怠慢
e.g. I tried to be friendly, but she snubbed me completely.
cling v.不愿放弃，坚持
e.g. She managed to cling on to life for another couple of years.
stigma n.耻辱；羞辱
e.g. There is no longer any stigma attached to being divorced.
原文链接
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/3nDZXgD7Fz7lBGc3YSQV9jr/nine-ways-to-feel-less-lonely
https://www.vice.com/en/article/z3n5aj/loneliness-epidemic-young-people
https://www.vice.com/en/article/k7w5xx/onlyfriends-is-a-website-focused-on-real-world-connection-it-left-me-looking-for-real-people
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/2yzhfv4DvqVp5nZyxBD8G23/who-feels-lonely-the-results-of-the-world-s-largest-loneliness-study
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