Sadfishing
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越来越多的人无法正确消化自己的情绪，把网络世界变成了个人日记和情绪出口。近来甚至已经出现了一种新趋势: 网络卖惨——Sadfishing.
Essentially, ‘sadfishing’ is when a person exaggerates their emotional turmoil just to gain sympathy. Sometimes, it’s not even exaggerated anymore — with people just candidly sharing extremely delicate details of their lives on social media.
“Sadfishing”就是指一个人为了博同情而夸大自己的情绪。有时甚至不是夸大其词，人们只是毫不保留地、事无巨细地把自己的生活放在社交媒体上。
The Boy Who Cried Wolf from Aesop's fables was sadfishing when he tricked the villagers into rushing to his aid. Sadfishing is increasingly being used to accuse people of attention-seeking and criticize or belittle their online content, whether they were sadfishing or not.
伊索寓言中喊“狼来了”的男孩就是通过“卖惨”（sadfishing）骗取村民的同情。现在，无论人们是否在 “卖惨”，他人越来越多地使用这个词来指责人们寻求关注，还会批评或贬低他们的内容。
In an interview with the HuffPost, Cara Petrofes and her colleagues said that the people that engage and participate in sadfishing are most likely to have the “anxious attachment style,” which means that these people have a hard time feeling secure in their relationships and at often times have that fear of being abandoned.
在接受《赫芬顿邮报》的采访时，卡拉·彼得罗夫斯（Cara Petrofes）表示，参与卖惨的人很有可能有“焦虑依恋”倾向，这些人很难在一段关系中感到安全，经常伴随着会被抛弃的恐惧。
“Our research showed that those who are anxiously attached tend to seek validation through others and need consistent friend activity and a higher number of online/in-person friendships.”
“焦虑依恋型人格急于从他人那里寻求认可，需要经常与朋友互动，结交更多的线上线下朋友。”
到底该怎么区分一个人什么时候是在博同情，什么时候是真的悲伤？
Part 01
我把你放心里，你把我放鱼塘里？
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人们“网络卖惨”的原因有很多，通常是为了寻求支持或同情，以应对最近的压力状况、心理健康问题或身体形象问题。社交媒体上常常出现美化的照片、生活理想化的内容，令人相形见绌。
造成 “网络卖惨”的常见原因包括：
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孤独（Loneliness）：经历孤独的人可能会渴望得到朋友或熟人的支持，以消除这种感觉。
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抑郁或焦虑（Depression or anxiety）： 有些青少年可能不知道如何以健康的方式处理抑郁或焦虑等具有挑战性的情绪。他们可能会尝试从社交媒体上寻求同伴的支持。
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人格障碍（Personality disorders)： 患有人格障碍的人可能会通过这种行为来获得他们渴望的关注或满足对安慰的需求。
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自恋(Narcissism)： 自恋型人格障碍（NPD）患者认为自己备受推崇，人见人爱。他们也需要别人的关注来助长他们的自恋。
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自卑（Low self-esteem）：如果一个自卑的人在网上得到同情，他的自尊可能会得到一时的提升。
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缺乏健康的人际关系（Poor social support）：当遇到困难或悲伤的情况时，在线上得到他人关注可能会带来宽慰或安慰。缺乏良好的社会支持可能会导致人们感到孤立和无助，因此他们可能会寻求通过社交媒体获得的支持来弥补这种缺失。
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使用药物（Substance use）： 使用药物会降低人的抑制力，使人更容易冲动之下。发布一些内容。
我们都希望得到别人的关注。它让我们感到被爱和安全。社会关系是我们幸福的主要因素。然而，卖惨其实是一种操纵他人的行为。这是有意夸大或假装经历困难时期，以获得我们都渴望的关注。
According to Tess Brigham, psychotherapist and host of the podcast “Psychlegalpop” in an interview with HuffPost, “We all need validation, and sadfishing is a quick, effective way to get it…In the same way a “like” gives us a quick dopamine hit, posting something vulnerable and getting a stream of “You’re so strong” or “You can do this” comments gives some people that same rush.”
心理治疗师泰丝·布里格姆（Tess Brigham）在接受《赫芬顿邮报》采访时表示：“我们都需要认可，而卖惨是一种快速有效的方式……就像一个‘赞’给我们带来快速的多巴胺刺激一样，发布一些脆弱的内容，然后得到一连串的‘你很坚强’或‘你能做到’的评论，对某些人来说也能带来同样的快感。”
For the past couple of years on social media, we’ve all seen people just turn on their tears for the views, seen all the uncomfortable stories that should’ve been kept private, and the ones that take the ‘Main Character Syndrome’ to the next level.
在过去的几年里，社交媒体上的网民被流量骗取了不少眼泪，这些人分享了一些本应该保持私密的令人不适的故事。还有一些人将“主角综合症（Main Character Syndrome）*”表现得更加极端。
译注：主角综合症（Main Character Syndrome），指的是一种心理现象，即某些人在社交媒体或现实生活中表现出过度关注自我、渴望成为关注焦点并将自己视为故事的主角的倾向。
当人们对在网上分享个人创伤和反应变得过于放松时，可能意味着人们不再相信“狼来了”的故事。
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Part 02
“那什么是真的！你说什么是真的！”
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Attention is a complex cognitive function—it is a process of selection and interpretation of external information through our five senses (sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste). Our automatic response makes us pay attention to things that are out of the ordinary to assess their threat level —especially negative ones.
注意力是一种复杂的认知功能，它是通过我们的五种感官(视觉、听觉、触觉、嗅觉和味觉)对外部信息进行选择和解释的过程。我们会不自觉地关注那些不同寻常的事情，以评估它们的威胁程度，尤其是负面信息。
Maybe they’re constantly posting quote cards about deserving better and the importance of knowing your worth. Maybe they write vague posts about always being let down or share ominous posts about how karma comes back twofold. If you’re close to the person and prone to taking things personally, maybe you even worry the message is directed at you.
也许很多人会在社交媒体上频繁发布一些引人深思、关于自我价值的语录卡片，或者写一些含糊其词的帖子表达总是被辜负的感受，或者分享一些暗示着因果报应的帖子。如果你与这个人关系密切且容易将事情个人化，你甚至会对号入座，觉得自己被针对了。
There are many reasons why people accuse dramatic or overly emotional posts of being sadfishing. Let's face it, appearing to be miserable to get attention is a trick or a con, pure and simple. The trouble is, it works. People are, for the most part, empathetic and respond to emotional appeals.
所以人们会指责那些戏剧性的或过于情绪化的帖子是在博同情，是因为有些人表现得很痛苦是一种伎俩或骗局。问题是，这种伎俩有用。在大多数情况下，人们是有同理心的，会对情感诉求做出反应。
Manipulation is toxic behavior and, more to the point, it makes people angry. When people are mad or feel vulnerable, they protect themselves. Labeling a post sadfishing is a way to devalue it and get back some of their own. Or it may be a preemptive strike against future cons. Negative posts can bring out the worst in people (e.g., Scott et al., 2020).
操纵是有害的行为，它会让人真的很生气。当人们生气或感到脆弱时，就会保护自己。给一个帖子贴上“卖惨”的标签是一种对其贬值，自我赋值的方式。也可以说，它可能是对未来欺诈行为的预防性打击。
Sadfishing is another form of cancel culture. It denies the legitimacy of a person's feelings or experience. Like other forms of canceling, it is reactive. It requires no insight, inquiry, or evidence but leaves plenty of room on the bandwagon for others to climb aboard. Labeling a post as sadfishing is an attempt to invalidate the emotional experience of the person behind the post. Some posts deserve to be singled out as sadfishing. It’s the cost of "crying wolf" with repeated hardships or outing a commercially motivated "trauma" such as Kendall Jenner’s disclosure about acne sponsored by Proactiv acne treatment. But, labeling an emotional post as sadfishing can also be a form of cyberbullying or victim-blaming.
“Sadfishing”是另一种形式的“取消文化（cancel culture）”。它否认一个人的感受或经历的合法性。和其他形式的取消文化一样，它是才意识的，不需要洞察力、调查或证据，但给其他人留下了足够的空间去跟风。给帖子贴上“卖惨”的标签，是试图否定帖子背后的人的情感经历。有些帖子确实应该被指出为“卖惨”，因为反复遭受不幸事件确实像是“狼来了”一样。还有人像卡戴珊家族里的肯德尔·詹纳(Kendall Jenner)*那样，为了商业利益主动揭露自己的“创伤”。但是，随意将情绪化的帖子贴上“卖惨”的标签也可能是另一种形式的网暴。
译注：肯德尔·詹纳(Kendall Jenner)在社交媒体上预告将分享自己的抗痘史，引发粉丝的关注和猜测。其母克里斯·詹娜（Kris Jenner）在Instagram上称赞她的勇气，让人们“准备被感动”。然而，最终结果并非是肯达尔·詹娜在揭示自己的心理健康问题，而是她与护肤品牌Proactiv签约，并分享了她与痤疮的“抗争”，以此来宣传该品牌的痘痘霜。
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Part 03
人活着哪有不疯的 硬撑罢了
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Is the public display of distress bad? That's not necessarily bad. Social media is a great way to feel connected and supported and to be part of a community. Sometimes, getting thoughts and feelings out in the open makes us feel better, and feedback can normalize experience by knowing that others feel the same way.
公开表达痛苦是坏事吗？并不一定。社交媒体是一个很好的方式来感受温暖和归属感。公开表达情感还可以从同龄人那里获得反馈和认可，促进理解和团结感。
We may feel gratified and supported by the attention of strangers, but we never know who is responding to us on social media. Lots of people like to give advice, but few are trained or qualified to help. Teens should also be aware that continual posting of distress signals vulnerability, making them targets of people who may encourage more distress to feel powerful or who enjoy others' pain. Chatrooms are particularly bad places to vent anguish as it increases the risk of being targeted by sexual predators.
我们可能会因陌生人的关注而感到满足和支持，但我们永远不知道是谁在社交媒体上回应我们。很多人喜欢提供建议，但很少有人受过培训或有资格提供帮助。青少年持续发布痛苦信号会暴露他们的脆弱性，可能会成为享受他人痛苦得到快感的人的目标。聊天室尤其不适合发泄痛苦，因为这会增加成为性侵犯目标的风险。
Social media is permanent and searchable — and nothing is really private. Excessive expressions of distress can stick with you and become part of your digital identity available to everyone from Grandma to admissions or job recruiters. Emoting publicly also puts you at risk of being accused of sadfishing, which can be hurtful, especially if you were feeling down in the first place.
社交媒体是永久的、可搜索的——没有什么是真正隐私的。这种痛苦可能会一直伴随着你，成为你数字身份的一部分，供家人、招生人员或招聘人员观看。如果你的确情绪低落，公开表达情绪也会让你面临被指责为“卖惨”的风险，这可能会让你更加受伤。
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原文链接：
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/positively-media/202102/sadfishing-attention-getting-or-genuine-calls-for-help
https://pop.inquirer.net/358539/what-is-sadfishing-and-why-is-it-all-over-our-social-media
编译｜玛迪娜
排版｜玛迪娜
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