Laowai Life: Will You Ever Leave China?- 大数跨境

Baopals

2019-04-26

导读：Laowai Life is an article series where we tackle difficult topics that are relevant to foreigners in

Laowai Life is a new article series from Baopals where we tackle difficult topics that are important and relevant to foreigners living abroad in China.

We are all familiar with the story "I only meant to come to China for one year... but here I am five years later." There seems to be a powerful force causing expats to postpone their original plans of returning to their home country. As they immerse themselves in the extraordinary conveniences and easy lifestyle offered in China, many have a nagging thought in the back of their mind (or a constant reminder from family and friends back home) that they will probably not be able to stay here forever. Any expat that has lived in China for a while has been to their fair share of going away parties, and many wonder when (or if) they are going to have their own.

Stephenie Yuan primarily grew up in the U.S. but lived in Shanghai when she was 7-10 years old. After graduating from highschool in the Bay Area, she moved back to Shanghai at 17 years old to pursue her college degree. After four years at Fudan University, she decided to move back to California.

"Moving back to the U.S. was always in my plan since I knew I wanted to work in the U.S., and my older sister lives in San Francisco. Thinking farther along, I think the U.S. offers high quality living and is great for raising kids.

In my last few years of living in China, I also got into fitness, which altered my perspective of the food I was eating on a daily basis and also brought to light how sedentary the average person is. I feel like it’s easier to eat healthy and be active in many parts of the U.S. than it is in China since most people are health conscious to some degree and we’re surrounded by so much nature. I really appreciate all the things in the U.S. like driving 30-40 minutes to a hike (even in the city), clean beaches, and being able to eat out at a healthy restaurant for a decent price."

Moving back home can be a very welcome and much-needed break from China life, but it can also be challenging after so many years abroad. Dominic Agha-Rafei moved back to London, England in 2017 after living in Shanghai for 6 years.

"Unfortunately, due to Chinese immigration policies foreigners will never be seen as citizens. As a result, staying in China was never a long-term game plan. I also decided I wanted to change careers and needed to gain advanced qualifications which I couldn’t do in China," he says.

"The main challenge is the fact that London is one of the most expensive cities in the world, so I have burnt through my savings (and the Masters was not cheap). Also, while I love the area I live in, most friends from back in the day have moved further east where rents are cheaper. With public transport being expensive, casual meetups cost a pretty penny."

Although Dominic has considered moving back to China, certain restrictions give him cause for hesitation.

"I feel that with my new qualifications I could earn more than what I did before and definitely more than the semi-entry level positions I would be taking here in England. The issue is, again, I want to find somewhere I can set up, buy property and move forward with my life. As far as I’m aware, foreigners can only own a leasehold rather than a freehold. I couldn’t imagine raising a kid in Shanghai either, since the cost of a good international school is extortionate."

While many foreigners like Dominic feel like China is not an ideal place to raise children, Sira Zerbini believes otherwise. Sira is originally from Milan, Italy and has been in China for five years. She has seven children, and her youngest child was born in Wuhan. "I love China and I feel like it is safer than Europe in many ways. My husband and I had the opportunity to go back to Italy, but decided to stay in China. We feel very safe walking around and I really trust my neighbors; I would not feel the same way if I had stayed in Milan." Sira sends five of her children to a private Chinese school (they have all of their classes in Chinese and get one hour of English lessons per day) and two of her children with disabilities are homeschooled.

Sira also says that being able to shop online and get everything delivered to her home is another reason to stay in China. "I could not imagine having to go to the grocery store with seven kids. Here my life is much easier. It can definitely be challenging at times, but I am up for the adventure. I like to be like Indiana Jones!"

While the decision whether to leave or not can be a tough one, many people feel confident that they will move back to their home country sooner rather than later. Ivan P. has been living in Shanghai for four years and is set on moving back to his home country in Croatia to settle down.

"I can't imagine growing old in China. Croatia is a much better place to age in and raise kiddos," he says. "I love going back home. I love the calm of the place."

Despite that fact, he still knows that he will miss living in China after he leaves. "After two weeks at home I get the itch to move and come back to the fast pace of Shanghai life. When I'm home I can relax better than I ever can in Shanghai, but I miss the convenience of having sliced mango delivered at 2AM."

Other people, like Canada native Lisa Alleyne, struggle more to make this decision and can't give a definite timeframe of when (or if) they will leave China.

"I've reflected on this so many times. My foreign friends in China often contemplate it as well," she says. "The lifestyle we live here is so different from the rat race in the West. Living in Beijing we have significant vacation time, affordable flights, an active social life. Every time I go home I start contemplating how I am going to buy a house and live without travel for the next X amount of years while I pay the mortgage.

With that being said I do miss my family and friends at home and I often wonder if my exciting life abroad is worth missing out on precious moments at home. I also really miss being able to drive. The dating scene in Beijing in my opinion is also fairly shitty and I feel like that will eventually be a contributing factor to me leaving China but to go back home or else where... only time will tell!"

One thing is for certain, living in China has given them all amazing experiences and a fresh new perspective on where they came from.

"Having grown up in a liberal and progressive city that is rich in diverse culture like London, it was interesting to see a more homogeneous and traditional society in China. Talking to Chinese people has allowed me to understand, to some degree, the forces of identity politics that are propelling Brexit. The wealth inequality I saw in Shanghai was staggering, even compared to London. It reminded me how lucky I was to grow up in a country with a highly developed social welfare system and a national health service," says Dominic.

"In China, 'how are you' is replaced with 'did you eat?' It’s a way of showing you care and brings a sense of closeness as if you’re family. It also opens up conversation to talk about why/what you’re up to," says Stephenie. "In the U.S., we commonly see people asking each other 'how are you?' and then walking away before the other person has a chance to answer or exchanging meaningless banter. I enjoyed the depth of conversations I had in China and also the degree of curiosity Chinese people had to learn about parts of the world they’re unfamiliar with. I don’t feel the urgency from Americans to want to explore other parts of the world, likely because the media focuses so much on the U.S. as the center of attention, and traveling abroad doesn’t feel necessary for Americans given the U.S.’s diverse landscape."

"On the whole I feel that China has taught me that there is a reason behind everything, so in general I read people/understand people better at home and abroad," says Lisa. "As for culture, I truly love China and Chinese culture but still equally appreciate Canada and Canadian culture. In regards to government, my opinion remains the same - our Prime Minister is undoubtedly handsome. As for lifestyle I'm trying to convince people in Canada that WeChat is the future. Most people don't care, although Blog TO does have an Official WeChat account. Well done Blog TO - you're ahead of the game."

Will you stay in China long term or leave eventually? Comment below and let us know!

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