优秀思路的开发信进阶模板（三）- 大数跨境

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优秀思路的开发信进阶模板（三）

外贸搜客宝

2021-05-08

导读：-

我发给客户的开发信有没有可以改善的地方？

模板三修改前

Dear **

Glad to know you from your website,that you are the leading company in Japan for machine vision system.

点评：后面应该再追一句概述他的业务性质，特色等的话，表示你对他们慎重研究了。比如：I just notice that you pay much attention to lower your cost for quality machine vision system.

This is ***company here.

点评：这句话有些生硬，过渡不自然，缺少人情味。May I introduce myself to you ? I am XXX, from XXXX. 这样会更人情味一些。

I am sure we are the right one for you to seek vision solution, Industry information,customizing products on your request.

点评：这后面一句太突然，没有过渡。

Maybe we can help you to save at least 10% cost saving with more high quality service.

点评：Maybe这个词没有力度，不自信，犹豫不肯定。

Some of our new models,such as Machine vision Lens/ Bi-Telecentric Lens /HD XGA Industrial Cameras,have a bright market at home and abroad.

点评：have a bright有点歧义，不如就用good,注意用最简单的英语，很多日本人包括其他母语不是英语的国家客户，他们的英语并不好。

Could you please do me a favor to tell me what items are more salable for you?

点评：这句同样是让客户的感觉很突然，很莫名其妙。

Best regards,

Ling

模板三修改后

Dear XXX,

Good morning!

I am very glad to know you from your professional website, you are the leading company in Japan for machine vision system. I also notice that you pay much attention to lower your cost for quality machine vision system. That is where I can be of help.

May I introduce myself to you? I am XXX, from XXXX. We have been in machine vision system industry for more than XXX years. I am confident that we are capable to meet your quality standard, while cutting your cost by at least 10%. Please be sure, we are also very capable to custom produce with your drawings.

To enable you to evaluate our quality, may I invite you to visit our factory?(或者：may I send you a sample?)

Best regards,

XXXX

由于实际情况不一样，不一定就合用，贴这个例子，是希望大家通过对实际案例的运用，来思考和了解开发信应该怎么写，只看理论会让人有点迷糊。

所以，是不是想起了我们之前所说过的一句话：“有效的开发信一定是获知客户的痛点并准确传达产品价值，只有被打动的客户才会回复你。”

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