大家好,写作部分涉及内容较多,我们将拆分为5期进行讲解。包括官方范文解析和学生作文点评。今天我们先来看官方应用文范文解析。
【原题】
你校将举办英语演讲比赛。请你以Grow Up Healthy为题,写一篇发言稿参赛,内容包括:
1. 简述现状;2. 提出建议;3. 发起倡议。

As we grow up, we are expected to leada healthy life. However, there is a growing concern that problems like eating junk food, lacking exercise and being addicted to online games still exist among us teenagers.
【解读】
第一段需要引出下文讨论的话题,并包含第一个要点,简述现状。我们可以通过描写社会背景,时代背景来引出话题。
本题要求以“Grow Up Healthy”为题,因此我们可以在第一段描写目前学生们所面临的健康问题,和对身体健康造成的危害。在本段结尾处,我们可以用过渡句引出下文建议。
范文用例子明确指出健康问题是什么,“eating junk food, lacking exercise and being addicted to online games ”。
然而在这次考试中,很多同学并没有明确写出具体问题和对健康伤害的具体表现。
【HAO句型&词汇】
1. As we grow up, we are expected to lead a healthy life. (as引导时间状语从句)
2. be addicted to 对...上瘾
3. There is a growing concern that+句子对.......事逐渐引起关注
To improve the present situation, I suggest that we stick to a healthy diet and regular exercise, which can work wonders for us. Besides, less exposure to electronic devices will do good to both our mental and physical health. More importantly, we should learn to look at the bright side and stay positive when facing challenges.
【解读】
第二段要包含第二个要点:提出建议。
范文中直接提出三条建议逐一对应上文问题,并且使用“besides”,“more importantly”这样的逻辑连接词。
这个用法需要注意,因为在部分同学的试卷中,并没有使用逻辑连接词,有层次的提出建议和叙述问题,所以文章内容看起来有些混乱。
【HAO句型&词汇】
1. I suggest that we stick to a healthy diet and regular exercise, which can work wonders for us. (that引导宾语从句和which引导非限制性定语从句)
2. stick to do sth. 坚持做某事
3. work wonders 创造奇迹,收获奇效
4. electronic devices 电子产品
5. the bright side 好的一面
Inconclusion, let's take action from this very moment to grow uphealthy and sound.
【解读】
前两段的内容较多,由于字数有限,所以在“发起倡议”部分可以较为简略。我们看到,范文只用了一句话。这一段需要注意,因为是结尾段,需要使用总结类的词汇,比如“All in all”, “in conclusion”,等等。
【HAO句型&词汇】
1. take action 采取行动
2. very moment 非常时刻
3. sound adj. 健康的
往期回顾:深一模 - 语法填空篇

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